Dec 30, 2008

who wants to be fasha sandha?

so funny that some of my friends did their hair over the hols. because i just did mine yesterday, a hair spa treatment and i feel like a million bucks already. see, what a wonder can do to one. i feel so much happier, although i have a splitting headache from shouting at the kids (read: dip students) to be quiet!

i was making payment so i asked the person-in-charge,

"how many times do you need to do treatment in order to get fasha sanda's hair?"

"ermm, 2 kali sebulan, kak. selang dua minggu la."

okay, i know its a bimbo question. hahha. i really do not fancy her, so dont get me wrong. but my husband is a fan of her. i just don't understand that part. do i look like her, in a way? hahhaha.marah fasha tu kat aku nanti.

its just a tactic im getting my husband to know how expensive us ladies need to be in terms of maintenance. because we dont want our guys to run away to some other sleek, model-like, groomed women (or bitches because stealing other people's husbands), right?

by the end of the day, if the guys cheated on their wives for hotter women, i'll bet my ass that they have to pay for their maintenance in return (for screwing them?). wouldnt that make the husbands more broke, two maintenance at the same time? might as well give full service to the wives, because they certainly deserve it. after all, they are your wives right?

i guess thats why certain marriages can go awry because of this. before married, everything look beautiful. of course, kene berlakon seronoh sket kan? kalau tak, semua orang lari. but ladies, take note, after tying the knot, you should primp yourself even more. because who else do you want to please if not your own man?boleh nak pkai kain batik, tapi berkemban la. hahah. always be sexy for you man. guys are sucker for sexy women. like, fasha sanda? ohh not!!!

so, if a month you have to spend at least rm400 for the hair, i wonder how much for a whole body treatment? i shudder to think, all that money going down there, but we really want to keep our men, right ladies?

i will no more be an educator...

okay, i think i have something against private students. especially these small college students, ones that people are not even aware of.

and i hate them even more when they start bringing their parents into the situation when its obvious we know whos in the wrong.

but in a way, i know im not cut for this teaching thingy because all i do is keep cursing them and its not nice to have your own lecturer to curse you.

i dont want them to end up dumber than ever because of me.

so, i'm quitting. now and forever.

Dec 27, 2008

i'm tired as if i have travelled across the world

i can barely bring myself about.

past few days gone by like a whirlwind. fast-paced. i like. ;)

thursday went to pd for the small benl reunion. well, i haven't seen them since i left uia, or since they left uia. had a barbecue that night but it rained a few moments after that. we were laughing so loudly, and hard. i thought my stomach was going to burst with all that laughter. but when it started raining, everyone of us turned sober.

"alamak, hujan lah! ni mesti sebab kita gelak melampau sgt nih!"

so, we had to go upstairs instead. but the soberness didnt continue that long because after that we were laughing our heads off again. oh dear, i wonder what the people at the resort think of us. ;p

yesterday, went to see my tailor in kajang then went to meet kak intan and uncle adam and the rest. my my, you should see them doing a spree at putrajaya bazaar. gila kentang seyh!

and today, went to 3 weddings. first went to see im but missed out on the solemnization. didn't stay for the kenduri but nevertheless, she was breathtaking less beautiful. so simple but so sweet. terasa ingin kahwin sekali lagi. kahkahkah!

rushed off to pd (again!) for my cousin's bertandang. the traffic was really bad. i kept screaming at all the cars and hubs had to calm me down half of the way. heheh. malu i. then rushed back to bangi again to my schoolmate's wedding. gosh, no wonder im stuffed.

tomorrow i'll be going to see teh farhana and her new baby with tasha. then another wedding! i'm running out of baju kurungs already. in fact, i have invitations till monday. speaking of monday, im depressed already because it im working the next day. ive been loving these days with no concerns of work whatsoever. uwaaaa!

okay, got to look for a baby present now!

hahah! sebagai tatapan akhir. jangan marah!

Dec 24, 2008

Terong Berlado - Wong Solo

the festive mood is kicking in now. im a much happier person since S came back. oh yeah, baby, life is just too great at the moment! (he's picking me up at work and right now, stuck in the jam. but im not the one who's stuck!) weheee *evil laughter*

yes, aisyah, of course you would miss us. but that didn't force you to meet up with us when we were in singapore last november. now who's missing who? hehhe, never mind, we'll make it a point to meet before you fly to elsewhere, ok?

will be going to buy some things for the bbq party in port dickson. oh, yeah. a lepaking session with the BENL people. im counting on having so much fun until im drunk with happiness.

odah, i guess i lost to you last night, because i had dinner at Wong Solo after 7pm. so, there goes my 3-day effort of not taking food after 7pm. anyway, who could resist dinner with S when thats the only part of the day where i get to eat and talk with him? notttt meeee!!!!! sedapp siot terong balado dia and gila pedas sampai aku tercirit2 pagi ni tapi still xserik jugak nak lagi!!!

Terung Balado

Nasi Ayam Penyet with Tempe & Tahu Goreng

Iced Lemon Tea (laki ku mmg kurang adventure sket!)

Avocado Juice tinged with Chocolate (sedap gile!)
nasi ayam penyet dia sedap lg kat waroeng penyet's tp wong solo lg byk side dish dia. and terong balado!! (i da mention td kann?) uish terliur lagi...
ok lah, its going to be a long hols so take care and drive safe everyone.
well, im off to good company, and of course, excellent food!

Dec 22, 2008

im living in a dizzy world

i haven't slept a wink the whole night. something got into me. i tried many things to get to sleep but to no avail. blare the tv. switched on the aircond and off later on when it got too cold. the on the fan. put on the lights. (i usually sleep better with the lights on, an act of having to shut eyes in order to block out lights. very effective i tell you.) did a little bit of beading. some reading. but no. i couldn't sleep at all. in fact, all the things i have done took up the whole night.

and for the first time ever in my life (my career life that is) i went to work as early as 6.45am. i had nothing to do, literally. so might as well get my ass to work. gosh, i never knew that water can be so cold in the wee morning. i wished i have a heater then, but knowing me, i never showered in hot water, except for hotels. no matter how cold it is. just trying to keep mind occupied wishing for things that are a bit way off.

and because im trying out my friend's way of diet, which is no food to be taken after 7pm, (nothing at all!), you can imagine how hungry i am staying up all night. so i decided to reward myself a good hearty breakfast but when i passed by the stalls, tetiba tidak kepingin pun. so i got to office at 7.30am, hungry but not wanting to eat. gila depressed.

now its nearing 10am and im dizzy and hungry. i wonder if i can bear until afternoon? i think i'll do it for the sake of testing my self-will. since i got nothing else better to do.

o yeah, im glad he's coming home today. nak mintak tolong dia urut2 badan. ;p

Dec 19, 2008

Delayed 7 Facts of Me

ok, this has been drafted for ages because have been busy lately (god knows why because i dont think i have that much work)

i've been tagged by 2 zetis, amni and nazima and the combined forces have sucked me in to do this. its the second tag ive received so lets see what we can come up with. (because im not good at tagging games. blame it on my multiple choice disorder ;p)

  • List these rules on your blog.

  • Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog. (macam similar to the previous one aku buat je)

  • Tell 7 unspectacular quirks on yours.

  • Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

  • Link the person who tag you.

  • Leave a comment for each blogger.

7 facts about me

1. ok. im still wondering the first fact about not a morning person. hence the difficulties in getting time to work. plus, i dont function that very well in mornings, regardless of buckets of coffee. so, thats why you'll see me going back late everyday. but when hus is around, i cant be very late because he's the skema one. so, him being gone is a total hate-love situation.

2. i am a forgetful person and absent-minded too. i could easily forget where i put my things in the last 5 minutes. so you can imagine how my work as an event manager can be tedious, if not heart-breaking and hair-tearing apart!

3. i love meeting new people and going to new places. i guess thats why sticking in a place more than 2 years can be a torture. (i hope i can stick to him for the rest of my live though)

4. i am an emotional person. i can get all cranked up at a smallest thing, and at any impossible times too. oh, i throw trantums too. so beware! (just kidding!)

5. so much of throwing tempers around, i am a scared-cat at heart. i have the most awful stage-fright of all times. yeah, i know, some of you might say, then why not memorise? but, believe you me, the moment i get up in public, my knees will tremble and go all weak, and everything i've memorised will fly out of my head! thats when you tend to hear me say all ridiculous things, which i wont remember saying them afterwards.

6. like most of my friends who have done this tag, i am also a club member of procrastinators. its how we click with each other. sometimes, it can be a contest, the last one to shower is the winner! ;p

7. i hate cockroaches. i never used to hate cockroaches this much but since this one, red, disgusting smelly cockroach crawled into my baju kurung at boarding schooldays, the very sight of them is banned in my eyesight. pernah aku menjerit sekuat hati kat hostel, sampai warden keluar ingat ada budak histeria. gosh, i will never forget that moment, cockroaches staring into my face! my neck and arms are all goosey-bumpy by just typing this down.

7 Unspectacular Quircks About Me

1. i am a pharmacy freak. but a different kind, i must say. because i could just spend hours in the phamarcies (any pharmacies at that!), reading all the labels and whatnot but end up empty-handed. nevertheless, the satisfaction is still there because i get to smell the lovely clean-pharmacic smell. huh

2. i think lah kan, (dont know about you guys lah) in my humblest opinion, i communicate better through writing rather than speaking, (aku kan berdarah gemuruh). even though sometimes words get the better of me! tapi sesungguhnya, aku tidak mampu menandingi kawan-kawanku yang lain yang sungguh pandai menyusun prosa-prosa kata dengan begitu genius sekali.

3. im a stout fan of spicy food. you can give me the spiciest dish in the whole world, i can endure it. of course la akan meleleh air liur dan peluh tapi thats the whole purpose kan? eat while you burn fat. ;p but in my case, i can eat cili padi better than sambal because the pedas effect is a bit different. sambal yang pedas can blow up your head whereas cilipadi effect dia just a small part in your mouth. tak gitu kawan2?

4. i love sweet delicacies and cakes. the more cream and cheese, the better. hence the result of me now. ;p but i am not takened to sweetened drinks very much, except on exceptional occasions. i like to take big sips (gulps?) so when im drinking a sweetened drink, terpaksa aku minum skit2 sebab manis dia susah nak minum telan sekali banyak2. thats why i always ended up drinking iced water only.

5. even though i love meeting and making new friends, i always keep the closest ones to me. because you know you can never open all that much to everyone you meet, unless you get to know them for ages and sometimes time is not the factor here. its the first moment of whether you can get together or not. and thats hard to find nowadays because everyone is an individualistic by nature (blame the society for that) with different priorities. so i make do what i have, for now. tapi kan, yang sedikit tu pun makin sedikit dah. sedih betul.

6. i always have this longing of buying things impulsively and when i do have the means to do so, i couldnt bring myself to. and then that money is gone to somewhere else which i cant figure out where. ;p nope, i can never be a true shopaholic because i dont do impulsive buys without thinking of consequences. maybe im being too much of a judgemental case.

7. at last, the final one. whew! i get into fights with people closest to me. and i mean real fights. like screaming and shouting macam orang hilang akal. but then, as easily i lose temper, i am easily calmed back again too. and can be the sweetest person on earth. til to the point that person can forget that i can be a very mean person. until the next session of rage. aku rase aku ni gila la tapi i love you sayang!

7 people im tagging

1. raudhah - im giving you an idea to blog on

2. aisyah bling-bling - i think you like tag games ;p

3. hanis - salam perkenalan di alam blog ;p

4. ummisaeed - kau buat la, yg dulu tu pun kau x buat!

5. ibuhannah&sophie - jikalau kau ada masa

6. pial - its your first kan?

7. aini kassim - kau pun sama

and to everyone yang nak buat okay!

his face in the photo is staring back at me

i noticed that i have drafts in my posting. most of them are all incomplete, okay i think all of them. sometimes, i get that moment where i need to write down something and when i do, it will stop in the middle and refuse to finish itself. i think i have too much emotion in me but too few words to let them out.

no wonder im such a nutcase.

nowadays, i have not been too friendly with myself. im letting my self go. like getting to work late (as if thats something new!), adorn clothes without efforts of primping up, frowns at people i meet (that explains all the wrinkles i have now), getting angry easily, grumpy at all times and i dont know what else. it seems that anything that comes out from me gives negative vibes.

since i got back from terengganu i have been staying with my parents. maybe i miss my home. but i couldnt get my ass to go back just yet. i think the fear of loneliness is finally setting in me. and im hating myself for that too. because even at my parents, i still feel lonely...

maybe im tired of this phase of life. maybe i need to start things afresh. maybe i need to meet new people. maybe i need to change my wardrobe. maybe i need to get myself into a positive environment.


now im staring at his photograph. nicely done in a wooden frame.

now im all emotional again.

Dec 16, 2008

hugging and lugging

sorry guys..

i know its quite frustrating to click on this page and see the old title over and over again. my bad, my bad.

we are in the middle of a major structure so everybody's been lugging and hugging his own worldly (precious?) possessions. thankfully, i got to stay where i am now but i still need to move some things around. hopefully, next week business as usual. or next year perhaps. ;p

i didnt take lunch today but i read hanis's place, im hungry all of a sudden. sedap nyerr kau masak weh, rasa macam nak datang singgah buat muka x malu! ngeheheh.

seeing that im single mingle, i dont have anybody to cook for (malas sebenarnye) i wonder who will accompany me? bazli pun jadi kan. that will be another entry, on bazli. now im off to pick up the cuppies from bake-freshly. yumyum.

xpayah makan lunch pun xpe kan sebab those cuppies will for sure cover the whole week, if not a whole month. jeesh!

Dec 10, 2008

i'm waiting .. and expecting..

i have so many things to write down starting from the overdue tag post till the adha celebration. but that have to wait first.

suddenly i feel like backing out. i hate interview parts the most. or evaluation sessions. i wish you can just get a job without going through all that. save me from a heart attack, won't it, no?

i need all the luck in the world and to make it even worse, mr hubs is not there with me. of course he's there for me though, literally but technically, not there. okay, quit babbling.

will be off to johor tonight on a big expedition. its matter of life and death. ngahaha. kidding ;p

and to terengganu till sunday. so monday i will post something for you guys. or in between if i do get the means of communication.

be happy and im wishing you all early, happy weekend!

Dec 7, 2008

happy eidul-adha people!

hello people.

can't be too long here. there's something cooking on the stove. (nothing special though ;p)

so happy eidul-adha.

Dec 4, 2008

its karma i tell you

okay, here's something funny (to me lah)...

a notorious former ceo of a place tells somebody (who is also facing the same thing as he) about his opinion on the whole restructure thingy.
"you know, everything that has happened is all personal. they, who are taking over, are doing it for personal sakes."

alright. i wonder lah, if you have been a nice chap all this while, i'm sure nobody would have the heart to topple you down. i bet it hurts real bad when the people who have been fanning your ass are the same people who discarded you off. and now, you try to make friends with those you discarded long time ago.

yeah, i do pity you but you should have seen that coming in the first place.

because i did.

but im not saying that im happy with whats happening now.

im getting back what i deserved.

and all thanks to you, of course.

Dec 3, 2008

when choices overwhelme you

two major things happened, in letter format.

finally, i received the transfer letter this afternoon. and drat! tomorrow i have to be really early coz i need to report myself to the new boss (which btw is a lady). she's not a dragon but she can be a snake coz she just stabs you in the back!

another, i received a letter inviting for a ptd assessment (2 weeks away), which coincides with my trip to terengganu. being me, i would just jump myself to terengganu, but laling hubs wouldnt hear anything of that. drat again! i'll have to juggle-jiggle whichever allows.

i dont wanna be a civil servant (gomen?!). but i sure as hell wouldnt mind being a govenor! *winks*

Dec 1, 2008

when a lonely woman speaks her mind

the weekend has been very eventful. what with the religiously attacked warehouse sales. i know im broke already even though its still early of the month but i managed to braoke myself even more with a few unnecessary purchases. i just cant resist colours! and god knows when i will use them. hah!

i dont mind helping out with a wedding but just knowing and listening to ridiculous adat is another thing. im okay with certain traditions you know, but if a request is imposed and make the situation harder, might as well not get married at all. because you'll be doing it with remorse and not sincere and end up hating each other. if you are so into traditions, why dont you sit down together and discuss them all out, not just sending messages to and fro and always changing according to your needs. oh yeah, come to think of it, maybe its not because of traditions at all, i bet you want them all for yourselves. opportunists.

i used to think that i can do things alone and dont mind it at all. before i met him, going to movies, malls, or do anything alone was no biggie to me. i could just venture the world all by myself. it was the perfect time to reflect and muse on many things in life. yeah, i used to think i was a philosopher once but now, im a lousy crap so sue me! sekarang, aku nak drive pergi kerja pun kaki macam haram berat nak letak kat peddle! i dont know how im going to survive another 3 weeks. i wont think much of this sebab orang kata bila tak pikir sangat masa akan berlalu begitu cepat skali. ni semua salah you, sayang, making me cacat sebelah tangan. ces.

so, today i will try to make an effort doing chores all by myself. sebab orang tu mengelat x bayar bill sampai habis, aku plak yang kene bersusah payah skrg.


okay, enough said. am too emotional.

Nov 28, 2008

word of the day: gila shitty (as usual)

procrastination is the most favourite past-time hobby ever. period.

memandangkan semua laki2 pergi sembahyang jumaat, aku terpaksa mengangkut kotak2 yang bapak besar gila. and not to mention the weight! i had to push the boxes on my knees all across down the library's sideway. i sweated like a pig (ada ke expression tu?) and short of breath. nampak sangat gila tak fit aku nih. ish. lepas tu, da la baru lepas makan, macam nak terburai perut pun ada! (habis aku punya laksa nyonya and nasi dagang, penat je mengunyah ;p) and lagipun i consider myself a superwoman, i wouldnt ask for help. call me egoist but i tak suka nak menyusahkan orang lain selagi aku mampu nak buat kerja. ngehehe, gila mengangkat sendiri. (angkat diri sendiri pun lagi x larat!)

harap2 peranak aku kat situ lagi. kang jenuh nak menjawab soklan2 x patut seumur hidup.

this cousin of mine is getting married any sooner and i have promised him to help him out. partly coz his mother is not around anymore and partly sebab aku memang cepat tersedih hati bila mengenangkan orang yang xde mak bapak ni, lg2 mak la kan. kan aku penah rumah anak2 yatim, aku melalak kat situ padahal diorang yang happy lebih. maybe, when you are short of everything, you tend to appreciate more. ok cukup citer emo.

oh, yeah. went to this launching yayasan oum and pak lah did the launch. tangan dia gila lembut, org xpenah buat kerja berat kan. memang la kan, aku rasa dia memang xsesuai jadi leader sebab dia tu yg macam bapak yang baik sampai xsanggup marah anak. patut la rakyat kita naik kepala sikit. (tapi in a good way) kita kene ada org macam mahathir tuh, jahat sket and tegas. tapi jgn la jahat sgt sampai pentingkan diri sendiri kan. aku wonder la, lepas ni kalo najib jd pm, agaknya sume menteri2 akn buat lg banyak scandal ke?and letup kan scandal2 yg naik kepala? mesti najib akan tolong punye. hmm

Belakang Pak Lah pun jadi lah sebab mmg saje xnak tgk muka dia tp bini dia sweet la! ;p

sekarang tengah in a shitty mood. aku tau mesti ada perasaan ni whenever he's going away. padahal da slalu je dia tinggal aku tapi i never got used to it. menyampah aku. and aku akan keep cursing my whole alone-routine-to-work. da la nanti boss perempuan, x boleh nak lambat2 da. cisss. aku kene pujuk dia pindah k.l ni tp macamane? kene buat aksi2 sepatutnye? tapi karang time tu je dia janji lepas tu lupa kata x penah ingat pun ada janji. xvalid janji time2 mcmtu. ;p so, im in the phase where i get easily irritated and will snap at him sebab marah dia nak tinggal aku. pastu bila dia pergi mesti tambah lagi shitty sebab napa la aku xbuat baik je at least kalo ape2..tak nak terus kan la ayat tu. tapi aku benci la kene tinggalkan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (aku tau dia xkan baca ni nye) aku rasa aku boleh kene tinggal tapi jangan bagi aku pergi kerja pagi. boleh tak boss?

pastu belum ape2 lagi, aku da kopak!!!mcmane ni? mati la. mcmane aku nak pergi gathering BENLians? harap2 x mahal2 sgt kau pilih tempat zeti. kalau tak aku kene tompang katil kau! ngahahah

im thinking going back to ibu's sebab aku rindu saeed yak-yak.

Nov 26, 2008

the rubbing a*s*s* day

so today i packed some souvenirs and gifts to give away to a few colleagues of mine. who knows waht will become of all the things in our store by the time the department closed down. and i even loaded myself with the stuff too. but, only the expensive ones, mind you. ;p

i admit its a bit interesting to see how all this will turn out. and how speculations change from time to time. but one thing for sure, if you rub the right ass, you will be in the right position. but just beware of the sceptical and scornful looks from everyone else. i wish i could rub ass too but that ass sure doesn't look too inviting!

so i might as well save my ass from any contamination. coz i believe that when my time finally comes, i want to know that i really deserve it. not because of some other bum-schmucking ass!

i wonder how this people can sleep snugly at night?

p/s: the tarnished ass has been transferred (demoted?) to another department and i cant just imagine whats it gonna be like. yeah, like you're used to everycome shoveling and groveling at your feet and suddenly you're all alone in this world. no one to come at your beck and call. ever. really, i do pity him but what can i say? KARMA!

Nov 24, 2008

the perks of bondage NOT!

okay, so the news is out.

mm* will no longer be known as mm* but rather as tt*. back to square one. and confusing too. but that is a whole different story.

since its still not officially black & white, i heard that i will be placed under a unit of school of management, content development. and yatoque laughed at me, saying that i have a never-ending curse with research.

huh. all my life i hate doing research, or any academic writing (reports) for that matter. so, i guess when people say don't hate too much because one day you'll end loving it, it is more than true. in my case, i dont think i will end up loving it, far from to liking it, but to suffer.

i am destined to suffer as long i am in bondage.

oh, well.

please tell me, what is it guys with gadgets?

Part 1

this morning, on the way to work. in a teasing mood.

me: sayang, bawak your handphone x? (with a sarcastic look on my face)
him: ishh, mesti bawak. mana boleh tinggal.
me: hmm, yela. (muka x puas hati ;p)

Part 2

then, a massive jam ahead, exit on jln tun razak. a conversation took place.

me: shit! apehal jam macam ni?!
him: uhuh (taking out his new 'thang')
me: yang u keluarkan handphone tu kenapa plak? macam la boleh nak check nape jam kat depan tuh.
him: baby, my phone can do anything.
me: huh, datang la mengarut dia. sheesh.
him: baby ni! (buat muka comel konon)

Part 3

a few moments later, nearing to the exit.

"keep left," the thingy ordered. (terkejut aku dengar sebab alih2 je dia bersuara)

him: sayang, dia cakap keep left. nak kene pegi left ni.
me: by, i have been telling you all this while and you never listen to me and suddenly this machine ckp go left baru nak pergi left. its a machine ok!
him: yeke? (giving me sheepish look)

pray, tell me, girls, what is it guys with gadgets?

(but he's really cute when he gos all gooey-like ;p)

Nov 23, 2008

i like his new toy babeh

i'm blogging away at this alfresco joint in s15,bangi.just trying out his new e71.

Didn't realise its this fun. Now i guess i need to get one myself :p

And of course s15 is my future home. Can't wait for that too.

Ok got to give this back to him cos he's giving me looks already!


Nov 21, 2008

this one is untitled

yes, nana. salvatore at klcc.

30 mins to go. before i go pick him up.

been to maju junction. someone suggested me to go there to get contact lenses at affordable price. so i'm trying out first whether i can stick to them or not. and that SA can be very adamant in selling their product. i nearly got ripped off by the thousands, technically. oh, but she's excellent, no doubt about that.

tomorrow off to melaka. if luck is in, maybe a plate of black peppered prawns will be nice. aha! i know you will be reading this!

okay peeps, have a nice weekend!

Nov 20, 2008

i said "i'm from uia" with proud. 1st time. ever.

it's raining very hard outside. pertfect time for sleeping. ;p

i am always amazed by my own fickleness. like today. i had to emcee a function and some big-big datos' would be there. odw to work this morning, i had a major stage fright. tetibe je. aku pun xpaham. rasa macam ada banyak big butterflies in tummy sampai rasa nak muntah. perut berpulas-pulas.

i texted yatoque.

"weh, aku rase mcm major fright la. ak pun tatau nape.ak takut ni."

"alah, kau ni.jgn risau.mesti kau bolehnya.good luck eh."

"yela.thanks.ak cuak ni.ish.kau good luck eh nanti"

if she didn't have to attend a scholarship i.view, i wouldn't have to be this scared. at times of like this, i would curse and hate my job. i would promise myself to get another job so that i don't have to be scared shitless all the time.

another thing, i have this problem with the bosses here at work. i don't know why but i really hate them especially the janggut one. my boss's bf ever. memang padan mereka berdua tu. kalut lebih tapi taknak buat ape2. and then when something went wrong, they will never take the blame. padahal its their job to screen everything first kan? bongoks.

and another thing that i noticed is that if the ceo is happy with the turn-out, then no matter how big the mistake will be, it's ok. but if the ceo is moody, even the smallest thing yang kau rase mcm bangang kalau nak dimarahkan akan diperbesar2kan oleh mereka. tak ke gila kalut nama nya?

so i was cursing this janggut boss throughout yesterday. (agaknya sebab tu lah aku cuak lebih, kene badi dia ni). just because my boss is not around it doesn't mean that you can take advantage of me. or our dept for that matter. after various heated emails to him (which he didn't bother to reply at all), he was quite polite to me this morning. good, made my point there.

so did the emcee stint. and was praised by the big boss of hr. really flattered i must admit, after all the feeling muntah2 period i had to go through.

"oh you are good, you know"

"really? (gedik2s skejap) thank you, dato"

"you should audition for the internal emcees because we try to avoid taking outsiders. if we have good emcees, then its a bonus because after all, internal je pun. so where did you study? your english is quite good."

"tu lah, we are vey proud to have her at mm*" (that was my ceo)

"i'm from uia. and yes the medium used is english." (time tu bangga sket dgn uia ;p)

and that compliment really made my day (yela sebab yang janggut tu suka je cari pasal kan). but i don't think i can handle major stage frights all the time. it would kill me slowly. and quietly.

so there, i dont understand myself, do i really love doing what i do or not? i think im the behind-scene person. i guess.

Nov 19, 2008

run run with me

the day seems to end quickly.

i lost count of the hours that passed by.

now, i'm chasing the hours to come.

Nov 18, 2008

people, i am trying to survive with the english

everytime class finished, i always feel so drained. so exhausted. and i still can't define my feelings towards this oh-not-so-new-but-still-new-to-me endeavour.

i feel like i am a disciplinarian. a stickler for rules. which i am so not, those who know me well. teaching english is teaching the rules and usage of the language.

in my case, i never learn the real grammar of the language. since kindergarten until standard 5, i was growing up partly in the states and united kingdom. the perks of following your dad for his studies. so, i was reading by the age of 4 or 5 (i know its a bit late). thanks to my mom, enid blyton and agatha christie were my early best companions. how i love them till this day.

i was never seen without a book. my mom was always scolding me for not helping her out with the house chores. she even threatened to burn all the books. (which im glad she didn't). day and night evolved in a world of boundless imagination. fancy words that amazed me. (which i dont have the ability to put them in use, hence the bad writer of me). how a matter of a small word can change awhole story.

i think, even i was not brought up in any part of the world, i know i can comprehend english, if not a little. because my family (mother's side that is) has always been a huge fan of books. my uncle practically spends rm1000 every week on books. no wonder he is not married until now. no one can keep up with that kind of lifestyle.

because you see, when i went to school in uk, the kids there were a lot worse. their spelling were horrifying. their grammar were not perfect by the book. its like we malaysians trying to learn bahasa malaysia. of course we can speak malay fluently but does anyone here speak the correct grammar with the baku and all? NOT. we get by with the 'bahasa pasar' so, i really dont get it when most malaysians (yang terer ckp mat salleh lagi2 yang penah duk overseas) turn their noses down on our people when trying to speak the 'language'. i mean, even the natives (english) dont get them right all the time but we never question them. as long as you can get the message across is fine. for now. BUT if you speak with a thick accent, brit or american, then everything sounds right (even if you are not). aih, i just dont understand our people sometimes.

so, english is just there for me. never had a real education on it. yeah, dont count high school days because i was a real dumb back then. even in uni, it was literature and linguistics mostly. i should have benefited from that course to polish up my english, which sadly i did not because i was too busy doin something procrastinating? ;p

oh, well. if i can teach these kids right, maybe my grammar wont be so much rusty then.

i need a reboost now

its been months since i bought new shoes. when i started this blog, my passion for shoes is undeniably passionate. ;p don't get me wrong, my shoe closet might not be as impressive as it should be (as a true shoe lover). truth be known, i would fall heads over heels on beautiful heels (corny isn't it) and when looking at the price, i would fall again but this time, heels over head!

thank god i am not a fanatic or i would have been broke at all times. or as my mom would say, 'hah, kau makan lah kasut tu. dah suka sangat kan!'

since the blog has been rolling for some time, my passion starts to dwindle away. bit by bit. i dont know whether this is a good sign or what. i still look at shoes but with a wise head. no heads over heels or vice versa. and i always comfort myself, 'don't worry, it's not like it's gonna be the only sale here.' but nowadays, i am getting tired of looking at the same design all over again. nothing new. if there are somewhat interesting-to-buy, the price will be unforgivable. and i wont forgive myself for letting me broke. ;p

sampai window shopping pun x lalu sebab nanti depressed x dapat beli ape aku nak.

bottomline is i am not spending my money on shopping, like i used to.bags, shoes, makeups or whatever girly girls like to do. most of the times, i go social larking only. but the weird thing is, my money trickles towards the end of month. makes no difference whether i go shopping or not.

so i think i will start again my usual activity next week!

ok, i think i know where all my money has gone this month! ;p

when mahina gets the better of you

when talking about louis vuitton, mahina collection has always been my favourite. (and ridiculously unaffordable too!) if i have enough dough, i would get this one as a daily trot-on-arm.

LV Mahina L in black - i want i want!

it is made of soft and supple calf skin. black color attracts me most. with its golden brass hardware in the right places, it depicts a subtle elegance that LV can only do. it is slouchy but structured, it is simple but detailed, it is a size L but not too bulky-big, it is perfect for me but too expensive!

i wonder who would so much as kind to give this to me. i would be really happy for the whole year, if not another dream bag to yearn for!

Nov 17, 2008

i am enjoying the sweetness while it last

haha. i'm super high now.

just got back from lunch with fuzz in damansara. had a little bit of gossippy chitchat. now i'm super duper sleepy from all that mee rebus.

it seems that this week will be the last to berfoya-foya as the letters will arrive next week. yatoque suggests that we should look for boxes to pack our things. pity her, she has a whole 0f 5 years of rubbish while mine is barely 2 years old.

and rumour has it that my future boss will be a lady. a lady boss? gila, if she's anything like erra fazira (opps never seen the mobie before but i can imagine what its like ;p) i'll drop dead. i would rather have my now boss ten times more. well, i do have a lil bit of experience working with her. i hope we'll get along just fine. but for sure no 10am clock-ins. or 4pm clock-outs either.

tomorrow will be teaching day. i feel its been ages since i saw the kids. teaching is definitely not for me because i dont have that patience of a true teacher. i'm not saying they are a bit slower than the average but there's so much of a thin line of kesabaran that i doubt will remain a line.

tapi kan i always have this dream of teaching in the arab continent. i thought it would be much easier. but no, its going to be impossible because at least with these kids i can struggle with Bahasa, but with the arabs? my arab is so much worse i'll bet i won't understand myself. so poof! gone.

i need to get out of this crappy hole so that my post will be more interesting. tyiara, can we switch jobs please? yours sound so much fun what with the globe-trotting and all. ;p (bet i can't handle that too except the globe-trotting part ;p)

need to go the ladies. have been keeping it since morning. no wonder i can hardly sit still.


Nov 16, 2008

baa baa black sheep

at my parents' house.

just had a plate of lamb and rice. feeling like a lamb myself.

gave saeed a whole bowl of grapes. jangan marah nana, dia yg tarik aku ke fridge suruh suapkan!

i dreamt of getting that job offer in mmu. gila petanda macam xdapat.

and i also dreamt of something else but i wont say it here. people say telling a bad dream within 3 days might come true. aku takott!

okay, im off to see what i can feed that lil punk.

Nov 14, 2008

we got the passports ready


finally got myself booked to bali next year! but it'll be a long wait, i assure you. now, im at warong pak maidin, thank god for the wi-fi here. the main page says the seats are all sold out. but when i try to click on the wanted date, waalllall! i got it. pandai kau nak trick aku ye airasia!

okay, now im full with maggie goreng. quite nice though. and pine apple juice. but still thirsty. might as well pack my ass home where 3 jugs full of cold water waiting for me.

cheers! and have a nice weekend.

when passport is not within reach

ever since i can't log on to ym, my social circle has gone up and down..but mostly down. my only interaction with the outside world at work is through blogging. besides the long phone calls, of course. if they took away blogger too, i will scream this place down. gile hebat kunun, heh. ;p

i'm afraid to logout of the airasia page now because the seats might be all taken up. still stuck at this 'guest details'. it requests passport details and they are not with me now. jeesh. lupakan, slalu booking within malaysia je so apa ke jadah kalo nak passport kan.

everyones out for lunch. masing2 dgn pasangan. im stuck all alone kat sini. please someone humour me. tapi malas nak keluar sebab panas. ngehehe ;p and i dont even have have anything interesting to blog about.

oh, yeah time for me to update my resume. better find myself a place before they put me away somewhere ridiculous. maybe a totally new environment will help me cheer up. i never thought that going to work can be really tedious.

saya nak balik amek passport! nape la jauh sangat!!!!!!!

Nov 13, 2008

come quickly to me baby

since airasia is giving away free seats next year, ive been hogging on the site to pin on the free seats. so far no luck yet. ive been clicking away throughout the months (jun-oct) but unavailable. yes, there are but only a few and it falls on unpractical days. i can be patient so i will wait out this one.

i'm thinking of going bali. (thats where he wants to go so i'm just giving him a chance to choose, plus i'm not paying ;p) if i still dont get a kid by next year, then its definitely the right time for a getaway.

today i am very amused by the people in the meeting. i wonder where i'll be next year. everyone seems to know where they're heading. except me. the backside of a newcomer. people dont notice you. in a way, my blessings though. maybe i'll get transferred to cyberjaya/putrajaya.

so, i need to make sure my ass is on that table this coming 25th.

and, oh yeah, congratulations kak nor on your new baby...

Nov 12, 2008

To Rumaisa..

oh yeah, sya..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!





I can't Believe I Watched 'Sepi'

Oh sheesh.

You won’t believe this. I just deleted a really long post. And it took me nearly a whole day.

I won’t dwell on what has been done so this is going to be whole new one.

I was writing on a movie, Sepi. Starred by Afdlin Shauki, Vanida Imran, Eja, and Tony Eusoff. And many more (I can’t remember who). Yelah, semalam kan ponteng kerja. ;p

The movie is made of short anecdotes, though inter-connected with the characters. In a way, I could relate myself with the movie.

I love the part when Afdlin thinks he has something special going on with Vanida when suddenly she gives him an invitation to her wedding. He is totally devastated.

‘Maaflah, semasa kita bertemu, memang sudah terlambat.’

Vanida looks so forlorn and as if she wants to cry. Yeah, I know. When you have a whole wedding planned out, then it happens that you are not sure whether you want to go on or not. In our society, we would be thrown stones. We would be disowned. We would be the outcasts. The society won’t have anything to do with us. We would be ashamed to go on living. It’s better to get out of the country where nobody knows anything about you and starts anew.

Just like Vanida plans to do. Moving out to Australia. Again, it is soo cliché.

‘Tapi kalau kita bertemu untuk berpisah, buat apa kita diketemukan?’

Afdlin is blamimg fate. Another thing the society loves to do, forcing people into marriages. All his life, people keep pushing and asking him when he wants to get married. They don’t understand that he really wants to find someone that he could live for the rest of his life, but the problem is he hasn’t found one yet. We don’t want him to end up like Vanida, marrying someone she doesn’t love.

But eventually, he is engaged to Nasha (a bit mentally retarded), someone he doesn’t love because, well...

‘Orang yang dah sayang kita’

Maybe it is much easier for him to marry someone who will always love him. Maybe he doesn’t believe in love anymore. Maybe he doesn’t want to get hurt like he did with Vanida. Because he is a good man, he will take good care of Nasha, but without love. Of course. How noble. And the society approves that.

Anyways, he breaks off the engagement with Nasha when he finds out that Vanida didn’t get married after all. A brave thing to do, I must say. Goes against everything what the society has taught us.

‘Saya nak kahwin dengan orang yang saya cinta. Saya nak hidup dgn dia seumur hidup.’

So, they got married in the end. Cliché. But happy ending nevertheless.

Another life story in the movie is when Tony’s wife died in a car crash. A woman suddenly runs out to the road and Tony knocks her down. He goes out to look what happen, leaving his wife. At that time, they were arguing about how Tony is always busy and has no time for the family. So the wife was nagging on about a postponed holiday.

‘Bila kita nak pergi bercuti ni? Dah lama sangat bertangguh, setahun dah tau. Abang ni asyik sibuk memanjang.’

’Alah, awak ni. Cuti tuh bila-bila boleh pergi.’

Crash! A lorry comes by and crashes into his car. His wife dies on the spot. Suddenly she is gone. And he regrets that he couldn’t take his wife on a holiday. Didn’t spend more time with her when he could. The only way he nurses his grief is by running. Everday. Running away from his own guilt. He even neglects his only son, who is also trying to cope with the loss.

Until one day, he met Eja in the park on one of his running days. He believed second chance in love. Except that he didn’t get to be with her till his death since she is with another man. Imagine living all your live with your husband but your heart with someone else. I bet she was really tortured and as her punishment, she didn’t get to be with Tony in the end. Society’s punishment.

Oh. I’m too tired to type on the third one. In a nutshell, the lady that Tony knocked down was an arts student who was living in 2 worlds, a world of her deceased lover, Khalil and a real one. She is so caught up in the fake reality that she chased her own shadow and got knocked down, in deep coma. Ever since the death of Khalil, she has never let go of him. When a new guy comes approaching her, guilt kicks in. Her hallucinations became more out of the world, talking to herself most of the time. Everyone thought that she was nuts.

And yes, who could not resist a beautiful girl on the brink of insanity, right? Luck was on her side when she came out of coma, she decides to let go of her old flame and start fresh with the new guy (can’t remember the name). Young people. They have the chance to move on. New expectations. Because they have a whole long path awaits for them.

The moral of it all? Everyone deserves a chance of their own happiness and no one can be a judge at that. As long you know the thin line of between right and wrong. More or less, a different dimension of Malay movies. 3/5 I would rate it because I hate the fact of them putting singles’ tables at weddings. Come on lah, it is not a common practice in Malaysian community and has never been. People come to mingle around don’t care where they sit. Gila nak mengikut mat Salleh plak.

Okay lah. Penat la. This is the longest post ever.

Nov 11, 2008

up up up up and away

i skipped work today.

and i cancelled my class too.

i used my allergy attack as an excuse.

that part is true. after a check-up, turns out it isn't a sinus. just a major allergy sumting (can't remember what the doctor said).

he gave me some pills and a nasal spray. 2 puffs for each nose hole. morning and night.

all these years, i've led myself to believe that i have a sinus. see what a society can do to you. nad stupid me, i just follow them blindly. every healing place i've been to were just the same.

'oohh teruknya resdung awak ni. tengok ni, ha..banyak ulat-ulat kecil ni keluar.'

i was terrified of those ulat2. that was the last time i set foot in those kind of places.

until i couldn't take it no more. i've been having the attacks regularly. i decided to see a doctor. a real doctor. i was always a bit afraid of seeing a doctor. i just see a doctor to get an mc. and never took the medications. because you see, i believe in self-healing. unless i really have to take the damn medicine.

so i'm taking my dose now.

and very high too.


Nov 7, 2008

colorful bargain

the daring red
the cheerful turquoise blue

dua-dua cantik!

i was looking at my sis's blog and she posted a link for beautiful tudungs. really beautiful. and at reasonable prices too. now i cant decide which i want. nak semua boleh?

all the luck i need

went to pd again, this time for the closing ceremony.

this was between NUTE president and i, before the ceremony started.

'nanti awak jadi emcee, you have to throw out your voice. make an impact on everyone. saya tau awak baru lagi kan tapi boleh ni, nak belajar.'

i just nodded. speechless. but surprisingly, i wasn't pissed off like i usually do when people i dont know just bash out on me.

and i did better after that.

he was the president of a union for the company i work for. he was very big and dominating. but one thing i realise that, the union people just worship him. he has a way of saying things. all the wise things showing that he has gone through a lot. he respect people, of all kinds. he even bowed and thanked the waitresses who served him during lunch. with much humble.

he told us how he was an orphan. no parents. and everyone was surprised. he grew up in an orphanage until seventeen years old. when he got out, his first job was washing dishes at a restaurant. every fish head that came his way, he would put them aside for his meals. this is what he said,

'i just kepak kan kepala ikan tu. saya tak rase ape2 pun, bukannya kotor pun. ada lagi isi-isi nya.the only thing i know is to survive.'

i hold back my tears when i heard his story. i remembered the first time i wen to an orphanage. i cried the whole time i was there. i just couldn't bear seeing those young kids. having no parents. and i know this kid, she told me that her parents were divorced and not one of them wanted to take care of her and her sister and left them in an orphanage. i cried even more.

he must have come a long way to get where he is now. no wonder his people love him. he never gives empty promises. he made sure that the welfare of the union is looked after. he is a leader of great compassion. such a contrast to my useless CEO.

i wonder why we dont have our own union to look after the executives.

i would be a much happier worker.

before he left, he patted me and said, 'bagus adik, i know you can do it. saya memang gembira kalau orang yang saya kenal berjaya. it just makes me very happy. i wish you all the best luck.'

and he has known me just for a few hours.

damn right i need all the luck i can get.

Nov 4, 2008

It Started Fun At First But Not So Funny In The End


uncle & aunty being lovey-dovey di tengah2 kota melaka

(pic credit:odah)

my legs are still stiff. all because of walking down the 13 floors.

it was the most unforgettable experience of the year, so far. (well, after the pakguard's incident)

last sunday, we kicked off from singapore after magrib prayers. the weekend was so much fun, as expected. and full of love too. ngehehe. yela kan, we never have had uncles or aunties who willingly fuss around us. its just not the teachings of mohamad ali and zaidah abdullah. never go ask from people or menyusahkan orang lain, thats how we were taught. so you can imagine, how pampered we were, taken to all sorts of places and eat all kinds of food. this time around, we get to taste the oh-so famous sup tulang merah. We were full at that time, my tummy was hard already with all the stuffings, but still you can taste the goodness of it. it is mutton bones cooked in a red delicious gravy with bread to dip in. oohhhh. gile la beb, wa cakap lu. i like the part where you have to ketuk2 to get the sum-sum out. sodap!!!!!!!!! uncle and aunty said that place is the most famous place for sup tulang merah where all the malaysian artists go to. celebrity kah aku?! ;P

yeah, finally i had my dose of nasi ayam penyet! twice in fact, both at different places. i thought that i like the one in geylang but now i think i prefer waroeng penyet's. heheh.

crushed chicken sprinkled with crunchy batter and wallop sambal belacan

warm fragrant rice dripped with slightly thick sweetened soy sauce. available in indonesia only

and lots of bubble teas! it was quite different to the ones here. their pearls are quite smaller compared here. i remember my first bubble tea was at kajang metro, my friend's treat. then i got hooked, of course!

this time around, i got to make worthy purchases. much worth of my money. the last time i went to singapore it was chinese new year and most of the shops and malls were closed. so i ended up buying stuffs that i regretted later. but now, i am so happy with my purchases. 9west is so much better than in malaysia. i cant wait for the next trip in dec/jan.

okay, back to the story why my legs are stiff now.

i had to emcee a funtion in port dickson. so, before we went off to singapore i made a booking at p.d world marina resort with full payment. by the time we arrived there, it was already nearing 12am. we were tired and grumpy with the long drive. but sayang was sweeet all the time. ;p

we went to check in. it wasn't at the usual reception. i called the person in charge and was told to go to her house. macam ibu ayam seyh. with the ledger and all. and her looks too. she gave us the keys and directions to the apartment.

the parking lot was almost empty. and the building was quiet and well, ..... quiet. i couldn't see a soul but then it was nearly 1am. we took the lift and that was when everything started.

we pressed 13th floor button but nothing happen. we pressed again and again. suddenly the lift just shook and grumbled and groaned. (this is no exaggeration, mind you!) Sayang and Odah dah menggelabah and started to press all buttons. i stopped them because that could jammed the lift. kang tergantung kat udara, x naya ke. then the lift moved and odd thing was, the numbers of floors kept changing. it was 4, then 9, then 3, then 7, and lastly it stopped at 9th floor. it took ages for the doors to open. it was 13th floor okay. gila creepy time tuh. we got out, partly relieved.

the corridor was really quiet. we walked further and just to make my story a little more dramatic, the corridor of our room was dark. odah was muttering something, reciting ayat al-kursi i guess. we were urging sayang to unlock the room quickly. (we thought that being behind locked door would be much safer, but no) we went in and was.... well, how shall i put it? scared? disappointed? angry? frustrated? insecured? all of them and many more indescribable.

the curtains hung in tatters. the toilet seat was gone. bathroom lights weren't working. and we were in the middle of the air with no one else around.

sayang and odah went out to the balcony. they were deciding on something. then they came back inside.

me : i don't care. i hate this room. i want another room.

sayang : okay. kalau diorang takde bilik lain, kita check-in je hotel lain.mintak refund.

odah : btol kak. aku rasa macam xsedap tempat ni. kalau tak, ak nak tido dgn kau je. (trust her with her sixth sense)

we didnt take much time to get out of the apartment. went back to the lift. i pressed the 'down' button. the button box fell out. can you imagine that? we had to go down by stairs and it felt like a lifetime. i was half expecting some druggies or rempits to jump out at us.

i was seething by the time i got to ibu ayam's place. i told her off, how angry i am and violated too. i asked for another room and if that one too is inhibitable, i want my money back.

so we went to check out another room. eventhough it was a bit better than the latter, we still didnt like it. it was dusty as if it hasn't been cleaned for months. the chairs were on the table. letters piled on the table. and the unbearbale musty smell. it was a no-no.

amoi tu mmg cari pasal. she said that the room has been cleaned. i almost shouted back to her.

'do you think that i tak tau macamane bau bilik dah cuci? kalau you xpercaya sangat, pergi naik tgk sediri!'

then she went on its not her fault lah, she's just there holding the keys. i bad-mouthed her after a bit then stormed off.

we checked into the nearest hotel so that it would be much easier to get there in the morning. at that time, it was nearly 2pm. we had late dinner (or early breakfast?) at medan ikan bakar to soothe our anger. ;p

while i was getting the script ready, i emailed a complaint to the person in charge and asked for a refund. it was quite a long email. and all they replied was 'we have cancelled your booking reservation. please give us your maybank account and allow 3 working days for the money transfer'

bongok! they don't even have the guts to say sorry, at the least!

huh. even the function went all wrong. and i dont wanna even touch on that part. cibai lah!

tapi kan the best part was when we arrived home and showed off everything that we bought in singapore. ngahahha! mesti kau suka kan nana?

and yeah, i got the refund back, thankfully! kalau tak, amukan kedua akan berlaku.

Oct 31, 2008

off backpacking


off to singapore. here i come nasi ayam penyet!

its going to be a full weekend with lots of fun activities.

lets see if we can capture some pictures, because lately ive been too lazy to snap any.

Oct 30, 2008

when things get too mundane

i would be ashamed to tell the whole world what i have gone through today. or rather done. so let it be like that.

i cant wait for tomorrow. off to singapore and pick up sayang in melaka along the way.

then i have an emcee job in port dickson. its gonna be my first stint since attending that emcee training course. still doesnt feel that panic attack but wait for the actual day, then you'll see.

just finished a script for next week event. how mundane my job is. i want to do something excited. and fun. life's too short to waste time on scripting text for someone else to speak when you yourself have something to say too for the whole world to listen.

finally after many years, this year is the first time i managed to finish puasa-6. and yesterday was the last one. so today celebration lah! ;p

i feel relieved that next week the kids will be out for mid-sem break. but many events are lining up. just perfect timimg. *sarcasm*

okay, its already 730pm and im still at the office. gila loser!

p/s: the baby's name is 'aatikah mohamad zaid. still cant decide what to call her. you know, the manja2 ones. ;p

Oct 29, 2008

SE G707 vs SE X1


got the papers ready. but i doubt that the kids can answer them or not.

now, im breezing through for a new handphone. im tired of my old one. (though ive been using it less than a year). so who's interested in buying it please let me know. its a Samsung D880, a dual simcard phone. im letting it go for rm 500, negotiable. it still has a warranty of more than a year (the warranty is 2 years). i assure you its still in mint condition, except for hardly-seen scratches.

Samsung D880

i have always been a fan of sony ericsson models. before the samsung, it has always been SE. until the current job forced me into using 2 phones. (yela aku kerja for telekom kene pkai celcom) and hubby doesnt want to let go of his maxis. so it was a hassle carrying 2 phones especially during events so when the particular samsung came out, i had to grab it. but since celcom has detached from tm, then it isnt necessary for me to still use celcom when the husband is using maxis.

There are two SE that im eying on. one of them is still not available so maybe i'll take the latter one.
Sony Ericsson G705 - coming soon

Sony Ericsson X1 - this on i loike! and sounds kinky too

and working for a telecommunications co makes me want to be techno savvy. so these two will do just fine. ;p

so, lets see which one the pocket allows. tetiba dua-dua pun aku tak mampu. ngeh.

Oct 28, 2008

two different crowds

i just need to get this down.

its amazing how a certain crowd tend to deny another crowd from knowledge-gain. what saddens me most is that its our malays who are like that.

that crowd certainly made me want to quit this but that other crowd keeps me going, because eventhough they may not be good enough for the public unis, they do have that determination that i really admire.

so go suck yourself. because i wont let you get in their way.


havent slept a wink yet. been up all night getting the exam papers ready. just one part left and i have to stall that one later because i bought the wrong book at mph last night. sheesh, why would i need an economic exercise book when i teach english? i must be blind or what. oh well, this is me, i always do the most unthinkable things imagined.

i do not want to continue teaching next semester. it gives me high blood pressure and before you know it, i might be dead of a heart attack. the younger generation is a lot of trouble, i tell you.

nana's baby is still at the hospital, of yellow fever. lets hope she gets better. i miss her yawling. and saeed keeps clinging to the maid rather than us. and that is not good. once she wanted to perform isyak prayers so we took saeed off her to the next room. as usual, that little guy had to scream his head off and the bibik came running with a terrified look as if we tried to kill him. as if. hello, we are his family, for god sake! i had to shoo her off and tell her not to manjakan sangat saeed macam tu because he needs to get used to us, one way or another. kang dia ingat bibik tu makcik dia and im some kind of a freak to him!

cumell kan dia? somehow she reminds me when i was a baby ;p

okay back to work, ladies! its the horrible tuesday all over again..

jalan-jalan cari makan

have not been going to office lately. hence the absence in blogospehere.

weekend was a blast. drove up to melaka to meet sayang then routed to sg rambai for seafood at umbai with relatives from singapore. as usual, uncle treated us. and he always does it fabulously until there is no empty space left in your tummy. black peppered prawns? chillied crabs? (i took the gravy only because i dont eat crab but nontheless, it was super yummylicious) succulent grilled fish? fried sotong? uhuh, yeap my mouth waters all over again. (sorry no pictures, everyone was totally hungry and started gobbled as soon as the food had arrived)

and it was the first time we slept over in sg rambai. since we came back from the uk, that is. and that was like more than 10 years ago. nothing seems like it used to be. i remember when i was small, i used to perch and sing at the top of my voice, 'kesian dia, kesian dia', an old song by sudirman. i bet everyone remembers how pitchy my voice was at that time. i shudder to this day just by thinking about it. ;P

melaka was hot. i mean really HOT. ended up buying 2 hats. ngehehe.
had 2 cendol pulut and it was bliss from the scorching weather.
because i was too greedy for more, i got up to order another cendol when the worker took away the cendol that i was still eating. good thing he replaced a new one, for free!

then we went to tesco. you see, melaka has really developed. there are carrefoure, jusco, tesco, anything u just name it. no wonder the traffic was horrendous. we whetted out appetites at kluang station. i had hainanese chicken chop. was quite yummilicious. but i guess i prefer old town because they have my favourite ipoh noodle soup. ;p

see, i told you that uncle tend to feed you till you burst!

cant wait for the singapore trip this weekend. im panting for that nasi ayam penyet!

Oct 21, 2008

tick tock tick tock

my feet hurts from standing too long.

my throat is sore from shouting too much.

my soul drains from the mere thoughts of them.

was locked out from the office. had to call the maintenance and make blondish face at the same time. (yela, bimbo je yang tinggal kunci suka2)

seriously, what do you do with these kind of people. sometimes, i wonder what ticks them to be like that.

oh well. its life. and usually its sucks. so gotta learn how to suck it in. or i will end up, just like them.

i am so over.

Oct 20, 2008

does everyone know?

Just got back from Alor Setar, Kedah. Such a long journey, I must say. Nevertheless, I was sleeping most of the time because I didnt wanna see the whirlwind of 160 miles per hour passed by. Kecut perut. Endless stops, for the fresh fruits, or prayers, or the loo and sometimes for a winkie.

Seeing that Im tied up with part time teach, I couldnt take EL just as I wished. its time for me to feel responsible. and a little bit of grow up. haisshh. still couldnt balance the idea of teaching these kids. must get the hang of it. before the sem runs out.

planned to go waxing with a friend today but cancelled (hadnt done that for ages). probably end up with a coffee session. klcc. the only place that i can brave through. huh.

everyone at work is walking around with this kind of look, 'we'll see where we end' or 'we'll wait what happens'. major structure has been rumored since early this year and nothing has happened as of yet. supposed to be this coming nov. so maybe i will walk around with that look too.

old people couldnt bear of starting anew. and partly i understand that. sense of belonging. security. loans. friends. but i wouldnt mind if thay decide to let me go. then i can do something else. i never was one to stick to something for so long. i get tired easily. and sick too. maybe if i wasnt in a bonding situation, i would like it here (i hate being tied down). as usual, bonding with a thing is not as much fun as with a person. and that is a whole different matter, of course.

okay, back to old boring work. i definitely will go to that coffee thingy. i need it.

Oct 17, 2008

Tagging: 15 random facts of me

This is an overdue post.

I was tagged by zeti, and being a good friend that I am, I can't let her down right?

And this is the first time I have been tagged.

So lets see if there are 15 facts about me, not in particular order of course. (since I dont consider myself an interesting person)

1. I am a pharmacy freak. I love going into pharmacies. Even though I might not but anything but just for the sake of browsing through the shelves give me satisfaction. I find it amusing reading the labels/instructions/or whatever. Its like, wow, I never knew this! Padahal sume org da tau. The most frequent purchases would be shampoos, conditioners, facial wash, etc. Besides, theres a pleasure in buying cheap products then suddenly it works on you. Talk about being economical.

2. I sneeze in the morning. Even the sky will stiil be dark, I will sneeze like mad. In fact, the darker the sky is, the madder I will sneeze. Especially when doing subuh prayers. Sheesh. I know its my resdung and people tell me to do something about it. But if I do something about it, then it wont be a fact about me anymore, right?

3. I hate people asking trivial questions like, 'when are you getting married?'. Or in my case, 'when are you getting kids?', 'are you birth planning?' or such. I mean, I admit that I do ask those kind of questions but I dont put that kind of look as you have commit a crime for not getting married yet.
I had this makcik, with a nosy-look on her face, asking me, 'Da ada isi ke belum ni?'
'Huh, belum lagi.' I smiled a little, showing that Im not comfortable with her.
Then she goes, 'Ye? Kenapa, planning ke? Tak payahla, muda-muda la ni nak ada anak, senang.' Muka gile criticising macam aku salah gila sebab xde anak.
I replied, ' Alah, kita kan orang Islam. Tak percaya kat Takdir ke? Qada' & Qadar? Ada, adalah. Lagipun muda lagi, boleh nak enjoy selagi belum ada.'
Lalu aku pun pergi. Menyampah.
So stop with it okay. Tapi bila orang lain tanye about anak dia, SPM mcmane, trus buat muka membisu. Tau pun.

4. I hate driving. Especially into KL. But I learned, manage in fact to survive for the past 2 years. And now I think I cant take it any longer because I can end up in a mental institution. Curiously enough, when Im on the road, I am one of those yang bawak macam haram. Still, it affects my brain sbb nk bawa kmcm haram pun kne pkai otak. Can you please speed up my transfer?

5. Public speaking. My ultimate weakness. Working in a corporate, and communications too, doesnt seem to help at all. If you put me in front line, pasti ak akn menggelupur. and sweating. Gile tak attractive langsung. So, I hope this part time teaching will help me come over this ridiculous stage fright.

6. So much for my fear speaking in public, I am not scared to speak up in situations of crossed conflicts. Like, orders being forgotten and being rude about it, I can throw a tantrum then and there! And I dont care if people turn around and stare as long as my rights are....fulfilled?

7. I dont easily open up to strangers. I will be so oh-forever-polite. People wont believe its me! But give me time and a few embarassed moments, I will be the loudest of the loudest.

8. I can go without food for a whole day, ot two perhaps. But when makan-makan, I can eat the most. Well, of course, that shows why Im like this. ;p
I guess thats why I can go on a diet for long because 2 weeks I'll be on healthy regime, then the next 2 weeks the most unhealthy amok takes place. Excuses, I know.

9. I fight with the closest people to me only. Because you know, even if you fall out on the most disagreeable argument, somehow you can patch it up later on. Plus, you wont have to trade in your ego. So saying sorry wont make you feel the lowliest people on earth.

10. I like shopping alone. Where nobody will pester me what to get or not to get. I can roam the malls for hours, alone, without feeling a loser. Well, I dont have a reason to be a loser since there's a wonderful man waiting for me at home. ;p
But mind, I also like going out with girlfriends. Those are the wackiest time that I treasure mostly.

11. I cant bear smelly odour. Any smell that smells disgusting. Even the faintiest waft. No, I dont tolerate that. Mulut aku akan mengomel sepanjang jalan samapi hilang bau tu. Lagi-lagi plak yang ketiak berbau tengik/bawang. Sheesh. Im not saying that Im ordorless but I go to certain lengths to make sure that I dont. Because I dont like body odors so Im not expecting people to like mine. Its all about respect.

12. Apa lagi ek? The next coming facts will be bimbo ones. I love to write but I cannot write as well as these people do. Sometimes I am so amaze (and proud too because of knowing them) by what they can come up with. Like Tyiara, Huda Izam, Tasha, Tini and so on. There's many more but I ahve a whole list, not to say the least of unlisted one too.

13. My new found hobby. Blog walking. Any blogs will do. Just to take my mind off work. ngehehe.

14. Shoes. I love shoes. Especially those high heels ones. So the sexy one meh! In fact, I always look at peoples' shoes first. Someone said that you can tell a person by his shoes. Im not being materialistic here but I guess sometimes its true. Tapi janganla korang tengok kasut aku plak sebab kasut aku selalu da buruk2. Yang lawa2 buat duk simpan dalam kotak. ;p

15. At last! I thought this would never end! Im a klutz and dont you dare judge me. Sometimes I just glorify in the fact that Im a klutz. I leave my things in a scatter. I leave things behind. I forget things. I stumbled upon speeches. I ignore people without noticing Im ignoring them. I get lost in directions (Im really bad with directions, and I mean really BAD!). But I dont care because thats what I am.

Okay, Im tired. So Im tagging Tyiara (I know u can do much wonderful than this and I cant wait to read them), Odah (kau pun sama), Aishah Berlian BLing2, Nana (kau nak tulis pasal saeed pun aku xkesah!) and to whoever reads this.

Tata. Im going to makan-makan.

Oct 16, 2008


Finally, got myself back.

My lovely layout (to me its lovely that is!).

I feel so ME.

Thanks again, Fernando!

Oct 15, 2008

Class was okay.

Still couldnt decide what I feel about them.

A racket was going on when I walked into the classroom. A sea of different faces turned to look at me. I guess they must have been wondering what the new lecturer will be like.

Nothing like I expected. What a difference between public uni students and private students. In terms of attitude, mentality and dressing. Yes, even their dressing look kind of weird.

Tapi aku sedih lihat orang melayu kita macam tu. Pikir nak main je tanpa menghiraukan masa depan mereka sendiri.

The students will address you like nobody's business. Shameless. To the point where you question yourself, is this kid being rude to you? I take that in a positive way because I wouldnt want a silent, mundane class. But I told them, in a nice way, that they need to be civilised and polite when trying to make themselves heard. I know this kind of kids, you just have to be a bit nice so that they will listen to you, but not too nice for you to be stepped on.

I remember my uni days, it was really different. You dont talk and laugh at your own lecturer. Everything the lecturer says and presents is correct. And you cant refute that. To that extent. But then, they will be complaints that our students are too impassive. Too submissive. Not able to think critically. All the traits that companies do not wish to dwell in them. Nevertheless, Im sure the government will readily accept them. Perfect ;p

Anyways, going back to the issue, I hope to make a difference in their perspective, if not a little. Im no preacher and less of a perfect but at least I can share with them what the real world outside there is like. Come to think of it, they are like little sisters and brothers that need a bit of a guidance. Maybe, I need the guidance. Its a teaching-learning situation after all.

So, next week will be on full track. Then I know how I feel.

Oct 14, 2008

frantic antic

Okay. Inhale. Exhale. Be calm. Everything's going to be fine.

This afternoon will be my first class. And I havent prepare any materials yet. Still in the midst of grammar books. Who knows that grammar can be so complicated?

My friend says that there is no need to worry because the kids are just a bunch of SPM leavers and couldnt get place in public universities. Even a bimbo can get away with it! But of course, I do not wish to be a bimbo. I want my class to be remembered by all the students.

Oh, my god! What have I got myself into?

Sorry for being such a dunce

Something is wrong with the outlook of my blog, but knowing me, a computer dunce, I just can't figure out why.

Can somebody help, please?

Oct 13, 2008

Free Handbags Anyone?

I have never won anything from any lucky draw contests or such relevant. Luck never seem to be on my side in this case. But when Handbag Planet is giving away 24 FREE handbags at every hour on 15 October 2008, I know i just have to try my luck. Who knows, this time around I will strike luck, right?

Its so easy and no glitch! All you have to do is log on to their website, to register, then you will get to choose a bag that you like. You only get to choose one so make sure you make the right one because if you do end up winning, you don't want to be stuck with a handbag that you dislike. But no worries though, you can always give it to me. Ngahaha!

So, come on ladies! Only one day more to go. Don't miss out on this one.

Please, God, let me be strucked this time?

Oct 2, 2008

Raya Nasi Dagang Sokmo

Hello peeps.

As I'm typing away this post, I am lying on the bed, fresh from a looong shower. It was so hot today that I was cranky most of the time. And in Kelantan, of course.

I'm waiting for Sayang to come back with my 100 Plus drink. Very much needed indeed.

Celebrating Raya here is quite different from Seremban. Everyone houses Nasi Dagang all the way. Just as much I cannot take nasi impit and rendang, nasi dagang is not much different. Dont think I'm weird but I never really like ketupat (nasi berimpit or nasi berketul) and rendang. It just doesnt make me feel good. Nasi Dagang? For one thing, I am not a fan of nasi berpulut and thats how nasi dagang is. I wish they would serve nasi kerabu instead. That I would really love! However, some of them served nasi minyak and theirs were quite different than the ones I use to eat. Not appetising enough I should say. And of course, everything is not spicy enough. I wish I had brought cili padi with me! :p

All the same, I enjoyed going around because I kan suka jalan2. Plus, I received some gifts since its the first time I came to Kelantan. (its their culture to give small gifts to welcome new people into the family). Tak dapat duit raya pun xpela. But I got angpau of RM3. I was so excited because it made me feel like a kid all over again. hehe.

Pity most of the shops are closed though, or else I could have done a little spree. Speaking of which, I have to get some keropok for Aunty Intan tapi tatau la mcmane gayanya. Kedai tak nampak pun yang bukak lagi. Tomorrow we're going back. I'll try to find for you ok Kak Intan?

I dont know when I will post in again as I took 10 days of leave. Next week I will be going to JB and Singapore. Cant wait for that one! Nasi Ayam Penyet, here I come! Till then, I will put up the piccas ok.

Enjoy continuing your Eid okay!

Sep 29, 2008

Happy Eid Mubarak

I just woke up to an empty house after many sleepless nights of beading. And its still not done yet.

Noticed there were a few unknown calls. It has been like that for severals days. I tried cracking who would it be. Thought it was my aunt in Singapore but it wasn't. Then, I remember I have a sister in the States. So I buzzed. Yeap, definitely her.

Should be helping out Ibu with the cookies but I'm caught up with flu. Must have got it from you, Nana!

Now that its holiday time, I feel so relieved. The past week has been too emotional for me. Finally I broke down in front of Sayang in merely minutes before he took off. I wont pen it down here because it will jeopardize my career but let me get you this, I really hate your guts! I hope to death that my application gets through.

Oh well, I will start teaching on the 7th. I wonder how it will turn out. Will I run out of the class? The main reason I'm doing this is because I have to get over this stage fright, once and for all. But how do you teach when you barely know anything yourself? ;p

Last night could've been Lailatulqadr since the day is soo gloomy.

Alright, need to get back to work.

Zeti, I'll do your tagging thingy after Eid, when I have stuff myself with Raya cookies. Right now, I cant think straight enough.

Sya, Selamat Hari Raya. Nanti kau pergi shopping jangan lupa beli benda kat ak ok. Buat la hati aku gembira kembali setelah lama bergundah lana (is there such a word?). ;p

So, people Happy Eid! And Maaf Zahir Batin.

Sep 24, 2008


I'm in a state of confusion. And restless too.

There are so many things that I want in life. I am not trying to sound ungrateful here but it just is. You would be shocked to know whats going on in my mind right now. I know for sure some would say I'm insane or the least mildly put, ungrateful. And I will rot in hell for that.

These dark feelings I have kept them for so long and its eating me up. I'm getting angrier, metaphorically speaking, at everything. I do not like the way I am now and that makes me angrier.

Every smile doesnt mean that I'm happy. Every burst of laughter is just a way of stabbing my heart. What a path of lies I trudged along. Acting as if you are okay and fine is just tiring me out.

I know this is just a temporary phase that I'm going through. I know in time I will be free of all this. But I'm a bit scared by that time arrives, I will be left with no emotions, and lifeless.

For now, I will be numb. Numb to everything.

And hid my unsatisfaction and restless-ness underneath me.