Jul 30, 2009

dragonball evo + nasi lemak = headache (but in a blissful way)

it has been raining all day. sejuk nak mamposs!!

today i took the kids to cinema. they have this programme called the bookworm club or something and colaborated with showcasecinema to galakkan budak-budak kecil minat membaca. your kid have to read a book and then fill a form, which can be downloaded from the website, just google up showcasecinema okay cos i'm too lazy right now. haha. it's easy to fill in, just write down a brief description of the book she has read and a few other details, then wallah, free movies babes!!

of course, we don't get to choose what movies but the movies listed were quite new though not like centuries ago. there are 6 movies altogether, each one each wednesday at 10am, and we missed last week because it was fully booked and today, finally, i bundled them up and got there before 930am, more than half an hour early!! it wasn't that full, maybe people weren't really anticipating dragonball evolution, well i didn't to be honest, but hell, it was free and something to do during the school holidays.

such a disappointment with dragonball movie. there goes my imagination crushed built during reading the comics. goku is not cute at all, he has long face!! not roundish and cheeky! but i love his hair though ;p. and i didn't like cici too, i find her too normal and.. not cici at all. they have made the movie too hollywoodish that it lost its appeal. jangan buat cerita dragonball lah kalau macam ini gayanya. gila tak cool.

nuha didn't like the movie much, she was scared of the green-faced piccolo (i found him quite interesting, yeah, i like bad boys) and sat on my laps throughout the movie. i keep assuring her that it's nothing, it's just a movie. even her bigger sister were a bit scared but thank god she didn't ask to sit on my laps too because at the end of the movies, i couldn't feel my legs then!! imagine a sack of 15kg on top of you for a whole 1 hour plus. nasib baik comel.

then i cooked nasi lemak, the niece has been hankering me for nasi lemak since last week. kasihan punya pasal buatlah. well, i've been putting off because i couldn't possibly top off her mother's nasi lemak, she makes fantastic sambal, i tell you, kang tak jadi mesti mengutuk aku punya, tau jelah mulut budak-budak ni kan mengikut landasan honesty is the best policy. but it turned out okay, dah habis pun. hahah. and nak jadikan cerita, memang buruk perangai, i slept after makan nasi lemak, gila tak tahan macam kena drugged. dahlah hujan, sejuk, memang sedap gila lah. ish.

sekarang pening kepala menyesal tak sudah.

Jul 29, 2009

marilah kita berjoli, mahu?

i'm buggered of the fact that we will miss the bali trip in oct and that person will be back in nov. everything we planned has gone awry. and i didn't ask for additional 2 months of separation (abstinence should be the issue here) but that's what is going to happen, according to the new plan. huh.

being irrational, i thought of booking a flight to bali on the day he arrives but that would be too cruel after all those long hours on the plane. besides, we could end up fighting because i need attention and he would be too tired to see to my gedikness. so, i decided that maybe we could get away in the same week. i am so going to make him take a few days leave. mamat tu banyak gila leave tak habis, tak macam aku kaki ponteng kerja!

gee, i still couldn't absorb the actuality of the added lack-of-love months in my head. i'm being a bit ridiculous, i know, but facing kl at its worst on mornings and evenings, i wish i could just shrivel up and die. it's not that i'm afraid to brave through all the horrid traffic jam but i hate seeing everything closing in upon me. i feel suffocated by the swarm. who would be kind enough to take me in for 2 months? anywhere in ampang? just to make me getting to work much easier. haha.

okay, looking on the bright side, this could be just the right time for me to socialise with people whom i missed in the last couple of months. yeah, being single has its pros and cons. but then, at the end of the day, it's a bit unappealing to come to an empty house, let alone an empty, cold bed. i need to draw up a schedule so that i won't feel so alone and miserable. please, people, come and ask me out okay? i need some lovin' and cuddlin' here.


Jul 28, 2009

entry yang agak meroyankan

end of year is short of 5 months but that doesn't stop me from coming up with a few resolutions. i missed last year's end resolution thingy because i didn't think i need any. i always thought why wait till end of year to come up for resolutions for the next year. life is full of constant changing and thus need constant plan changing. if i were to wait till 31st dec just to say i will not procrastinate in the future, that means i'm allowed to procrastinate while i still have because next year i will have to start being not a procrastinator. but being human, when habits have set in, real hard, believe me, it's going to take lots of sweat just to overcome them. speak of old habits die hard.

okay, dah lari topik. that's what happen when i let my mouth run away.

my resolution. i noticed that i have hundreds of blog entries untagged. that's because i couldn't be bothered to tag and categorised them. it's too much work for me to come up with a quirky label. and another thing is because my posts mostly are so random that even i can't pin point the main gist i'm writing about. you can read a person by his writing (well, that's what i did my degree in) whether he's well read, constructive, creative and so forth. when i read my own writing, i know i'm a person easily side-tracked, emotional, losing aim, couldn't be bothered with anything and..short of words. haha.

sometimes i feel sorry for myself. but there's nothing that can be done about it. it's a fact that i have come into terms with. i could never be what i wanted to be. people can come up to me and say, you don't even know because you haven't tried. how come you give up easily? yes, call me weak and stupid, but i know my person better and should know where to stop before i hurt myself. i know what my limits are, at least i am aware of that and could something else to make it up. what's more important is that i can do what i love most even though i may never be good enough. so stop judging.

kan dah side-tracked lagi. i left malaysia with small possession but in more than a month i have accumulate harta benda melampaui batas. i have packed half of it but still half of my room is full of my things. i don't know i'm going to bring back all these things. guess what, i went to car boot to look for some books when i saw this kenwood fruit juice maker. the man offered GBP3 but i haggled for a lower price but the man wouldn't budged so i left and continued looking around. then it started to rain and i ran to carpark, passing by him, packing up. i stopped and asked for GBP2 because of the weather. he agreed! wheeee! and did i mention that it's still brand new and works perfectly?!

i'm terrible at ending things. that's why i'm always stuck in a relationship so long. haha. but good thing though i got it right the first time. so, how shall i label this?

Jul 27, 2009

yasmin ahmad, a living legend

It is a shock to all of us that Yasmin Ahmad died yesterday. My sincerest condolences to her family and close friends. May Allah bless her soul and place her among the good men.

I know that she made good films and commercials too, but I never got around finishing watching her earlier movie, Sepet, let alone the latest one, talentime. Well, partly because I get restless watching a film for more than 30 minutes while I can read a whole book for 2 hours non-stop. That’s why I always read her blog more often than watching her films.

A recent entry from her blog about the death of Teoh Beng Hock, there was one comment from her reader that questions about ‘sudden death’. He said, and I quote,

There is just too many "sudden death" happening in our detention.

I have always wondered what "sudden death" means?
When one dies suddenly like in a heart attack does it constitute sudden death? How about a car accident victim? Or a person who drops dead from a stroke?

Someone please explain sudden death to me.
And someone please explain what the hell is going on in this country.

And you know what’s the funny part of all this? Yasmin didn’t address to this comment as she did to other comments. Because I was quite curious to know what she have to say about this and I find it odd that she missed that one. Another response she gave that struck me is “but if this had happened to a member of your family, would you be as accepting? takdir is takdir, but in islam, if someone were murdered, his family decides the fate of his murderer. Yes, takdir is takdir but sometimes, even if that person did not die murdered, for instance a sudden heart attack, certainly the family would be hard of accepting. All the reasons were too soon, too young, got too much going on for him and so on. It’s human nature that people tend to be accepting, if not a little, if that person dies of a suffering illness or old age because then we are prepared to let the person go.

In light of the question on ‘sudden death’, we never know when our time is due. Some people are fortunate enough to know the chances of facing death (like being diagnosed cancer) so that knowledge can sink in slowly. But for many that doesn’t know (of course we don’t know), we have to make the best of time we have in life. A wise saying from our Prophet (PUH) that sounds more or less, worship as if death awaits you tomorrow.

In one of the tributes to her, I love her commercial ‘beautifully imperfect’ the most. Most of her works can relate to our life, no fairy-tale like, (kudos to her degree in psychology) which is most important because only then we would receive the message in her work. I have a lot to learn and one of them is to embrace the imperfections and make the best of it while I still have time. Because naturally, once you are gone, it’s the imperfection that will be remembered affectionately.

All of this makes me want to peluk-peluk sayang with what time is left.

yes, it is hard for us to accept the fact Yasmin Ahmad, one of the gifted talents, has finally left us all behind. but forget not, she still lives on through her beautiful works.


Jul 25, 2009

more damage

oh my god. at the rate i'm writing now, i might just abandon this blog. it's so much easier for me to write in the other blog, where judgments are of no any use. i know for a fact that i'm a mediocre writer but when i'm there, everything seems to gush out like a fountain. cheesy cheesy.

okay enough of that. later evening, i drove to chilwell, alone, for the first time. the real intention is to change a few items that i bought at next. little can i control, i ended up adding a few more items into the cart. it's madness to just let it pass because you won't find anywhere else like it. a silk top (dry cleaning of course) is down to GBP7?! or a corduroy skirt at GBP6? oh don't get me wrong, though, i got them for my little sisters. so, girls, say thank you!!

not enough damage at next, i went to another store. i was hunting for knickers, ordered by my SIL. but the thing is, i'm not quite sure how knickers look like. is it to be used like a normal panty? or the boxer type? then, that would be like shorts right? well, because i wasn't so sure, i just bought 5 piece shorts (to be worn as panties) at GBP1.50. dirt cheap. and they are cute too! habislah aku, dapat lagi satu anak buah tahun ni. hahah. oh, na, if it's not the same thing as you want, tell me, i'm obliged to do another hunting for you!

thank goodness i no longer have that shopping streak. i can go dizzy looking at the crazy price tags but there's something inside me that with hold back. like last week, i walked through the store with a full cart of things i intended to buy. suddenly, i stopped and looked at them, said 'what the hell i'm going to do with all this?' i turned around and abandoned the cart just like that. good thing i didn't think 2 hours of going through stuff is a waste. but, today i went back and took some of the items that i have chosen last week. so, sama je. haha.

i'm in dire need of a good hair cut. and throw in a treatment too!

how to forget pain

nothing beats having a good read while down with flu.

everything just dissolves.

Jul 22, 2009

not again

i have my own principles. my own stand. but i let them down.

i should have walk away. but it did.

i shouldn't have let the words get to me. but it did.

i shouldn't have defend myself to people like you. but i did.

i shouldn't care when being judged because it's my life, after all. but i did.

but i wanted to be nice. to give a second chance, proving that i might be wrong all this while. you proved wrong. you never have the right to judge me let alone make me small, as if i made the biggest or stupidest decision in my life.

my life, i'll see it fit to live. not you.

i am not letting you get to me, again. my guards are up.
it's the woman monthly ailment. been having cramps since yesterday. i look like hell. my hair is stuck in clumps, unwashed for 4 days. my skin is pale and blotchy. my tummy is swelling. my nose is blocked. and the list goes on. i bet even an alien would run away from me. the only one i'm hoping not to run away is my husband.

luahan hati wanita ketandusan kasih sayang.

Jul 21, 2009

something good worth sharing

macam kfc original recipe tak? ;p

gila lah title hari ini. ingat nak guna 'finger looking good' but then it would be too much, no? never mind, today i want to share something good with you guys that has got to do with finger licking good too. hahah.

the little niece wasn't feeling great today. she has been vomiting since morning and nothing stays put in her little tummy. the mother has an experiment to attend to and you know how little kids crave for attention when they're not at their peaks. so, i couldn't stay too long in the kitchen making lunch.

yesterday, we had bihun/soto sup for dinner which the noodles are still in abundance while the soup can barely fill up a cup. so, i fried the noodles, singapore-style with little bits of carrot, celery, black pepper and shredded chicken. then, there is thawed half chicken to be cooked (we have tiny freezer and i have no choice but to cook them) which i don't have any idea what to do. the chicken must go with the fried noodle and the easiest way is to fry them. being me, i'm tired of the usual way of tumeric and salt seasoned frying method so i decide to a bit differently this time. here it goes.

1/2 chicken
1 peeled garlic
1 tsp white pepper
salt to taste

* combine all together and leave them while preparing the batter.

8 pieces cream crackers, crushed finely*
3 tbs rice flour*
1 egg, beaten
oil to fry

*mix together crushed crackers and rice flour.

1. heat oil until ready for frying.
2. dip chicken in beaten egg.
3. then, covered fully with crackers+rice flour.
4. fry til golden.

the good thing about this recipe is that even though the chicken is skinned, the end result looks like it has chicken skin but tastes even better. trust me!

when it's done, then you can serve with rice or perhaps teringin western style, with french fries and cole slaw. and cheezy wedges! ahhh gila gomok. well, i had them with fried noodle lah kan.

ada bergedil, lebihan mihun sup. sodap!

Jul 17, 2009

2 celebrations

coincidentally, this post being the 200th, i made briyani rice with chicken honey. it's like calling for celebration except that the only people who will appreciate them is me and the SIL!

weekend is here already. a friend invited me to a chocolate factory in birmingham tomorrow and she's picking me up at 12pm. the thing is, the SIL is busy with her lab and she goes to see her mice everyday, not missing out the weekends. i hope she can handle without me. they are her kids after all. heh.

it's always like a tug of war, either i can make it and she can't or vice versa. this time around, it's me on the uncertain end.

i'm going to buy lots of chocolates because in a month time, ramadhan will be around knocking at the door. aku ada masa untuk makan 5 jam sehari for a month. do you think it's possible for to lose weight then? hahah.

right now, i can hear the SIL shouting that the briyani is so delicious. she's been having heapful of helps. considering that i am the cook, i am not that enthusiastic. well, it's her birthday tomorrow, take this as my early present. keji kan aku, padahal semua barang groceries dia yang beli. kiranya hadiah dia peluh keringat aku lah.

i have plans for saturday, what about sunday then?

nasi briyani

ayam masak merah bermadu

mixed salad

Jul 15, 2009

domestic delights

at times, when i'm in a middle of something, i would think to myself, oh i'm gonna blog this. but when i'm facing the screen, i'm totally bonked out!

i wonder why the night seems so longer while the day seems to pan out so quickly. even though summer nights are shorter. waiting the clock to tick at 2.30am seems like forever. maybe i've been up so long, by the time night arrives, the time moves slower. i would go, it feels so late, it must be 2 already. when i glance at the clock, noooo it's 1am?!!!

today i did house cleaning, including the bathroom. fortunately, it is a small apartment which is easier to work with but the unfortunate side is, i had to use a hoover (i think it's a hoover) and lug the whole thing across the rooms. i'm used to vacuum, it's lighter, easier and to say the least, it can cover the crooks and crannies. have i got the wrong names? ;p never mind, still it wasn't easy work for me.

the highlight of my activities would be cleaning the bathroom. it's my first time washing a bathroom that has no drainage to let the water out. yelah, toilet mat salleh kan, no wonder some of them can be unhygienic. so, i had to mop up the floor several times to get them dry and soap-free, with detergent at first, then splashes of clean water. by the time i was done, my back ached.

then, there's the bath tub to scrub. the toilet. the sink. the pails. the ledges for all the bathroom thingy. i realise that i am not so comfortable with the detergent. my eyes get watery and pedih at the same time. the strong chemical scent hurts my nose. i was thinking, wow melampau betul detergent! by the time i finish scrubbing the last piece, i start coughing and the throat seems to swell up. the smell and its effect overwhelming me, i ran out of the bathroom to get fresh air. this is it, i'm going to die alone. because of cleaning the toilet. hahah.

because i don't want to end up semput at night, i squeeze some nasal spray to clear up whatever necessary. currently, i'm suffering mild cough only. yeay!

thank you for reading this pointless bathroom-cleaning entry. (-_-;)

takde kerja betul.

Jul 12, 2009

a fishy story

i've nothing to write actually. just the need to type away something. heh. hence, prepare for a pointless entry.

last thursday, meera and her husband ('other half' as she calls him) came to pick me up. one night meet up couldn't possibly cover the whole of 16 years. we were different, yes we've grown up, but at the same time nothing changes. and she comes with a broad yorkshire slang. haha.

i was a mixed-up chick that night. i got all the accents mixed up and sounded really weird.

'sarah, you sound really different.'

'oh yeah? maybe it's the accent. you still understand me, right?'

'yeah, i do. it's like you sound a bit american, and still you have that yorkshire sound and...'

'yeah and a little bit of malaysian, you mean.'

'yeah, maybe.'

'well, that's malaysia for you. haha.'

she treated me a nice dinner of fish and chips and a movie, year one. oh nothing could beat fish and chips in bradford. meera said the shop at the corner in front of my house, where we used to live, is still there till now. i still remember my father used to buy fish and chips, old style mind you, and we would share, a packet shared by two. there were 8 of us and since we were on a tight budget, sharing is a norm in my family. good thing is though, the portion is really huge, 2-3 pieces of fish and a generous heap of chips. sometimes, we couldn't finish them at all.

speaking of sharing, mum would divide the big cadbury chocolate bar into 6 portions. imagine us treasuring each bite of the chocolate, not wanting them to finish quickly but at the same couldn't resist the delicious temptation. haha. that's why lah kami saling menyayangi. ngehehe.

so we decided to hit bradford on a weekend sometime in this month. gosh, i can't wait for that yummy fish n chips. the right amount of salt and vinegar, crispy and crunchy batter, ohh orgasmic!

meera, she doesn't really enjoy fish except fish and chips. even that, she would push away the skin. i told her that that's what fish and chips is all about, you have to eat the skin too because then you haven't really eaten fish and chips.

'no, thank you. i eat only fish and that does not include the skin.'

as broadly as she can be. haha.

Jul 7, 2009

this one's just for you, baby

one of the happiest days in my life

two years down the road in marriage life.

whew! how time flies. it seems like yesterday we just tied the knot.

there are not enough words in the whole world to describe the life i'm having with you. i'm not saying that we don't have our downs but the ups we have managed to make the bad looks small and to be laughed at. it's every girl's dream to have a perfect wedding and that doesn't exclude me. what made me stick to the ground is that i realise nothing in this world is perfect. sometimes we have to allow imperfections to make things seem balanced. if people can work really hard to make a wedding a lifetime memory, a marriage also requires hard work to make it going. if people come up to me and say they have a perfect marriage, i know something is WRONG, because to me that little confession rings self-denial.

one thing i learn from you, sayang, is that marriage is not a bed of pretty roses but we also have to work on the thorns. we have to handle the thorns in the right way as not to hurt ourselves getting pricked. once pricked you'll hurt a little bit but if you are being pricked in all places, the pain would unbearable. at times, admittedly, i have pricked too many a time and (i'm sorry for all the hurt caused) when i come to my senses, i have always tried to blow away the pain. i can be such a prick (no pun intended!) and i love you for allowing some space for my prickliness.

coming from two different worlds, it's a wonder that we have become one. you being the practical one and i, the dreamer. two different persons with different wants and needs that need a lot of compromise and tolerance on both sides. it's a lifetime effort to make our marriage work but i know deep in my heart, this is the main reason i'm stuck with you. knowing myself getting easily bored by mundane similarities, i believe it's a blessing that i have you to keep me in tow. never a moment i feel bored or restless beside you. you really know how to work me around, eh?

sayang, it's amazing how the simplest things in life can make us really happy. or the stupidest things we've done. at least, we have something to laugh back. masterbathe?

i know i'm not an easy person to be with. i'm the one with crazy mood swings at uncertain time ( what woman doesn't right?), the one who throws tantrums around, who gets easily upset over the smallest thing, with obsessive compulsive urge. if other people wouldn't know what to do with me but you do, in your own special way that can calm me down and make me feel loved.

i love you as you are the only person whom i can be transparent. i can be the sweetest person in the whole wide world and also the ugliest without being judged, harshly.

as i'm writing this, we are parted by different continents and i'm missing you like crazy. it's our first anniversary being apart, i hope it won't be like this in coming years. thank you, sayang, for loving me just the way i am, no more or less. i promise to make you happiest man alive on planet, i'm looking forward to the coming years doing just that. i promise to be a good wife and mother to our babies. amen!

i hope we can meet over the weekend before you shoot off leaving me celibate for months. no woman should be deprived of some lovin'. heh.

happy anniversary, sayang!

*aku tak pandai berjiwang atau meluahkan perasaan walaupun aku kuat berangan.

Jul 6, 2009

oh my

oh my.

the sisters were fighting. and the youngest shouted, 'biar kakak mati!'

oh my goodness.

Jul 5, 2009

it was my first time to the town today. went there by bus. summer sale is crazy. i went crazy too. i didn't bring the right wear at night for summer. so, i bought many colorful camisoles, shirts and shorts. it was an unintended purchase of 10 pounds, which i could have spend on something more sensible. but who can be sensible in hot weather, tell me?

kesian, the sister is up to her head with presentations and lab experiments/reports. when she asked me what to cook today, i answered mee kari. now, i rasa kasihan and feels that perhaps i should be the one bersilat in the kitchen since it was my big mouth that said it. how hard is it to make mee kari, right? it's just a matter of whether sedap or not.

the husband will be transitting in heathrow before proceeding to rio de janeiro for 3 months. i hope i get to meet him before he goes cos i'll be going back to malaysia much earlier than him. selamat lah aku beraya tanpa dia.


Jul 4, 2009

solace for unsightly feet

oh shit. oh shit.

i haven't felt this urge for such a long time. been browsing through (quickly) crocs and they have really cute flats. i cannot the tahan lah. dah lah income-less, lagi lah membuak rasa. so, what i did was to email each of the items that i want to him along with a short cute message (so that he would pity me). heh.

*all pictures courtesy of the website.

olivia in new gold, just right for the unflattering tanned feet ;p

lily LJ plaid in red/black, so sexy for not-so-sexy feet ;D

sorbet in charcoal snake, my really desired item, a must have! tapi paling mahal. ces. ('_')

Lagi banyak berjalan aku kalau dapat ni. heh.

j. lo?

i have the most ridiculous sun tan. ever.

my feet. because i wear malindi crocs most of the time, not mentioning the hours spent in parks when the sun is beating down, u can imagine the pattern it developed.

just near to the toes, there are white patches or blobs. or splotches. or whatever you may call them. and it look so unflattering. hell no, i'm not posting up a picture of my feet. it looks so disgusting. plus, my feet were never my best asset.

hands and arms are nicely browned all over. no splotches. luckily, i didn't wear any holey sleeves. ;p

j. lo in the making is so doomed.

imagine the tan? urghhhh!

domestic influence

i know that i should make the most out of my visit to uk. in the week, i always promise to myself i would go out and have fun. but when weekend comes knocking on the door, all i want to do is lie in, get up late, and laze around with a book. in short of a month, i have already read 8 books. no wonder i'm such a happy bug because i haven't enjoyed a reading since i started working!

since i'm jobless at the moment, i had to skimp my savings by going to bootsales for the books, which i managed to bargain 16 books at 3 pounds. dirt cheap that i can appreciate. :) i'm half-way through all of them, so if you see me up early on the weekends, it's just to get my usual prescriptions!! no qualms tho, the brits are quite well read so you won't find rubbish materials lying around. i wish we have this kind of sale in malaysia, i would be the first one to head the city (on weekends!!) but i know the price won't be as cheap. ;p

on a bit side-tracked note, a friend has been canceling plans at the last minute. i don't blame her, she's stuffed up with a master and submitting reports and thesis. i feel bad for haggling her to take me out, so i'm just gonna chill until she finds time for me, eh? anyhow, i wonder if she'll understand me, my british accent has pretty much rubbed off after all these years, added on with a malay tinge and influenced by hollywood movies. silap2, i couldn't grasp the broad yorkshire twang plak! we''l see how it goes, t'would be interesting.

a lot of drama going on today. after more than a week of putting on angel behaviour, the niece decides to show the darker side of her. sampai tomyam aku yang biasanya sedap terus jadi tak sedap dah. ish. don't be fooled, that little punk can scream if she puts her heart into it. and i scream back too, acting like a kid.

'makcik sarah nak balik malaysia lah, malas nak cakap dengan orang yang taknak dengar cakap!'

'aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh ha nak ikut gakkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!'

ada je jawapan budak kecik tu. si makcik kecik yang banyak cakap. nasib baik comel. huh.

lately, i'm being a bit domestic so i've been surfing domestically. haha.

Kenwood Prospero Compact KM265 Mixer

Kenwood HM326 Hand Mixer

Kalau berjaya, bolehlah jamu kawan2 makan kek buatan rumah!

Jul 2, 2009


life's been good so far. couldn't ask for anything less, or more. even though it's the same routine everyday, i do things at my own pace, without people hassling me to move on or yakking away why things are not done yet.

its been a month away from work and i tell you, it's pure bliss. i shudder to think of going back to work. if luck is on my side, lets hope that by the time i get back, my transfer to hq in october will go through. if not, perhaps i will have to resign and look else where.

after tasting freedom, i can look at things in perspective. being employed to a multi-national company has its own perks, of course, but if i have to sacrifice my own emotional stability for a stabil career, i would flush it in the drain. if i'm not stabil, will my career be too? it would jeopardise my own integrity and beliefs. not to say i could be sacked too.

truthfully, i do not hate the company (i thought i did before this) but i hate my work, the workplace and the people there too. that's why i am counting on the transfer. life is too short to be cooped up in that small-minded place where i could have a taste of something different and exciting instead.

two more months to think about career decisions.