Feb 26, 2009

there's no title for this

i'm running late actually but i don't care. i wanna do this.

previously, i love my job but hated my boss which led to hating the job. now, i'm okay with the boss but i hate the job which i fear could lead to hating the boss. (i hope that won't happen though). so, in order for that to not happen, i really need to get my shit together and get that career profile done because i heard there'll be many vancancies around march, which is basically next week??!

so i think a job that requires less paperwork is fine with me but a boss like a****r can make me kill myself!

Feb 24, 2009

it's all worth it

i've been holding back my wee-wee the whole day since morning. that shows how busy i am going around.

like my friend-colleague says, 'berkat kerja bulan ni, berbaloi dengan gaji'.


Feb 23, 2009

torn between two

its been a while i havent looked into this blog of mine.

still tired from the overcooking activity over the weekend. i could hardly bring myself up let alone open my eyes that night. some of syarif's friends came over till midnight and thankfully, he did most of the cleaning up. thank you sayang, love you! so the next day, need to wash up a few pots and pans. biasa la, bila lelaki yang berkemas, mcm2 dia tinggal kan but at least he made the cleaning process easier for me.

right now, im stuck in front of the pc, not knowing what to do with the work given to me. i thought with the new structure and all, everthing would be much easier. but it seems that i calculate wrong. there are 2 managers in my unit and only one of them whom i report to. the other manager didnt seem to realise that and keeps on giving all this workload. and i cant find a way to tell her that i dont reply to her beck and call. i think my real manager feels a bit uncomfortable about this, but like me, doesnt know how to point out this obvious reality. and to make it more complicated, this other manager sometimes gives me work that overlaps with my boss's scope. and it so happens that my boss wants it to be done in a different way. ish, talk about pleasing two different persons!

since i can get no where with this work, im going to go for lunch. at least that is something that i can do without taking any orders from anyone. ;P

Feb 16, 2009

all in a week

we will be going to port dickson for a retreat tomorrow. wont be back till thursday. after all that sekejap jadi, sekejap tak jadi, last last jadi. i can't fathom why it is so hard to decide on that. i was thinking that if it got cancelled, i dont really mind at all because i have to host a makan2 for both families over the weekend.

mr hubster wanted me to make nasi lemak and i plan to make bihun soup too since my mil can't eat anything spicy. there will be satay too and i ordered the ever delightful desserts from ibu and an aunt. fruit tartlets and sinful double layer cheese choc cake. *drools*

im quite nervous about this makan thingy because its the first time they will be coming over. since i already bought a house, so i did nothing to primp up the house im currenty staying in. thats no excuse i know but wth i cant be bothered with that. im saving for the thrill of deco-ing my house next year, hopefully.

i hope mil will not say anything about the house because she is one particular lady on cleanliness and organized. kalau mak aku, x kesah sgt sebab dia da tahu perangai buruk aku nih. ;p

and who knows, this time i will post up some pictures supaya my posts won't look so dull and lifeless.

i will take the friday off. so, see you guys next week then.

Feb 12, 2009

nothing i can do

something in the meeting yesterday made me admit what i have dreaded so long.

i am never good enough in anything and i don't even know what i am good at or can be, for that matter. hell, i don't even know what i want in a career. mush, i feel you man.

sometimes i feel ashamed of letting people know that im an english graduate. not because of the subject itself but rather of my inadequate self. compare to my other friends, they are so good in what they do. real experts. if one took economics he will be an economist. or who took engineering will be and engineer. so, who took english should be a linguist, or a critic, or a lecturer or basically an expert of the language. because in malaysia, you need to to be proficient of the language to secure a bombastic career. though from what i perceive, as long as you know the language, people think you are capable of doing everything regardless the lack of expertise. i bet if you put a dumb blonde in the position, the world is happy enough just because 'it' can speak the language. dush.

unlike my e-lite friends, i barely passed just for that bloody diploma. i never can consider myself a literate, let alone a linguist. i mean, look at how nightmarish i was when teaching those kids. i do like reading, of course, but most of the reading materials weren't my cup of tea. i think i didn't do enough justice of being critics of their works. they deserve more than what i can give them.

i can never be good enough.

why?there's a reason why i didn't do masters yet. first, yeah, i'm not good enough. second, i'll bet the reading requirements can kill my love for reading. third, i can't do masters in english, what other fields can i jump to? corporate communications? public relations? business administration? marketing? tesl? so many options but too little faith. because looking at the current situation where i'm such a hopeless at workplace, i will never complete the course. okay, i think i'm getting irritated by the word 'never' because it makes me sound like a pathetic loser on the verge of losing her mind.

okay, the main reason i'm writing this down is not because i'm in a dilemma of wanting to masters or not but the not wanting of people's hopes pin on me. just because i have english diploma on hand, does not necessarily mean that i'm genius on that matter. how many economists we know who have screwed up the market? (haha i don't know too but i bet there are) and we blame them, what you took economics and you can't even get that right?!so, it applies the same to me.

so, please people, don't expect too much of me because when you do, i always screw up big time. oh, i feel the burden on me now. but i'm glad my depression era is still not over yet. that means i have something to complain and whine about.

okay, you guys can slap me in the face now!

p/s: zetty amni, when can i write like you? macam gampang tapi aku suka..hahah

Feb 10, 2009

i definitely wish for.....

as usual i'm waiting for him to finish work. and it doesn't help that he's at dayabumi today. it's raining hard. i'll bet all the roads will be packed. usually, when the weather forecast rain in the afternoon, i would be long gone before 5. today is an exception.

so, since i have nothing better to do, i'll do this tag thingy by zetty.

Rules: The rules are simple. Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 6 people.

I am:

I really want to go:

My favourite place:

My favourite thing:

My favourite drink:

My favourite food(s):

My favourite colour:

I live in:

I was born in:

I attend:

My favourite show:

This is my hobby:

I definitely wish for:

i tag:

raudhah, tursina, ruqaya, aisyah, pial, aini, and hawa. (oppss terlebih but what can do kalau kawan melebihi than as requested? ;P)

Feb 6, 2009

Domino Fall


omg i can't stop laughing! semput2 aku di buatnya. i don't know why but this simple video really made my worries go all away..

oh god! i'm lauging all over again..and loudly tooo!

oh, please do join in!

Feb 2, 2009

dangerous mind at 3:06 AM

okay, i have been away far too long. and its not away from the blog per se but the drive to write. there's not a day that goes by without me sitting in front of this little baby of mine. i could just stare at the legs in pink heels (wish mine are like them though :p) for hours and come up with nothing.

i'm hoping for a miracle to happen so that i can finish these papers on time. 'dangerous minds' starring michelle pfeiffer (i think so) is playing on star movies now. i don't think i can ever be like her. its not like my kids are a bunch of thugs but the challenge is overall the same. the same attitude towards education. most of them don't give a hoot what they are learning nowadays and that is very sad. what more is sad is that most of them are our own people, the malays.

the other day, met up with zeti at klcc. was stuck there worth of 15 bucks. it was our first meet-up. her husband works at the same place as mine. we got talking on some financial issues. one question still stuck in my mind, until now that is, why is it that people can easily understand ASB and other shit while they couldn't grasp the mere meaning of unit trust funds? i don't have to take an economic course but what i understand is that they just run round the same circles except that maybe unit trust funds promise higher returns. and what really frustrates me more is that i don't have enough capital to secure my future finances. i wish i can have that kind of dough then maybe everything will turn out ok. and taking a personal loan is not a wise decision.
so i'll be patient for a few more months, eyh?

how do you think the riches could maintain their wealth for generations without the help of unit trusts? yeap.

alright, i have come to the conclusion. teaching literature is definitely more fun than a handful sticks of grammar rules.