people, i am trying to survive with the english

everytime class finished, i always feel so drained. so exhausted. and i still can't define my feelings towards this oh-not-so-new-but-still-new-to-me endeavour.

i feel like i am a disciplinarian. a stickler for rules. which i am so not, those who know me well. teaching english is teaching the rules and usage of the language.

in my case, i never learn the real grammar of the language. since kindergarten until standard 5, i was growing up partly in the states and united kingdom. the perks of following your dad for his studies. so, i was reading by the age of 4 or 5 (i know its a bit late). thanks to my mom, enid blyton and agatha christie were my early best companions. how i love them till this day.

i was never seen without a book. my mom was always scolding me for not helping her out with the house chores. she even threatened to burn all the books. (which im glad she didn't). day and night evolved in a world of boundless imagination. fancy words that amazed me. (which i dont have the ability to put them in use, hence the bad writer of me). how a matter of a small word can change awhole story.

i think, even i was not brought up in any part of the world, i know i can comprehend english, if not a little. because my family (mother's side that is) has always been a huge fan of books. my uncle practically spends rm1000 every week on books. no wonder he is not married until now. no one can keep up with that kind of lifestyle.

because you see, when i went to school in uk, the kids there were a lot worse. their spelling were horrifying. their grammar were not perfect by the book. its like we malaysians trying to learn bahasa malaysia. of course we can speak malay fluently but does anyone here speak the correct grammar with the baku and all? NOT. we get by with the 'bahasa pasar' so, i really dont get it when most malaysians (yang terer ckp mat salleh lagi2 yang penah duk overseas) turn their noses down on our people when trying to speak the 'language'. i mean, even the natives (english) dont get them right all the time but we never question them. as long as you can get the message across is fine. for now. BUT if you speak with a thick accent, brit or american, then everything sounds right (even if you are not). aih, i just dont understand our people sometimes.

so, english is just there for me. never had a real education on it. yeah, dont count high school days because i was a real dumb back then. even in uni, it was literature and linguistics mostly. i should have benefited from that course to polish up my english, which sadly i did not because i was too busy doin something else..like procrastinating? ;p

oh, well. if i can teach these kids right, maybe my grammar wont be so much rusty then.