Greetings of Ramadan

Okay, 4 more days to Ramadan. And I've been receiving emails saying greetings of the coming blessed month.

Somehow, I lost the concept of Ramadan a little bit. Don't get me wrong, though, it's just that I've been treating (as in eating or stuffing, whichever) myself as if I won't be able to eat for a whole year! And my dears, that cannot be good, I tell you. I can't even begin to tell how ashamed I feel now, with me and particularly with God.

Oh well, the purpose I'm doing what I'm doing is because I just wanted to feel the excitement of embracing Ramadan. You know, like doing all the things that you can't do during the fasting month makes you appreciate more of Ramadan. Am I making sense here? I guess not. Heh. I always thought that Ramadan is the month to see your real attributes, or personality, or whatever. All demons and devils will be tied up so there will be no excuse on bad behaviours. Somehow, Ramadan makes me realise that I am still a good person and Muslim too. I would, you know, actually promises to myself, years after years, that I will continue to be a good person after the Ramadan.

So, every faults of mine must the devils' fault right? ;p

After so many months of fake promises to Fuzz, I finally drove my ass to Bukit Damansara for lunch. So I had to treat her. We went to Secret Recipe because she had a voucher for a free slice of cake. We ordered Chicken Cordon Bleu, Japanese Shoba Salad and Classic Cheese cake. Our great intimacy allows us to share food. Haha. Ended up she ate my chicken and didn't finish her salad. I was still full from breakfast, the yummy nasi lemak outside my office!

And I forgot to snap pictures!

Got to go now and pick up Sayang from futsal.

Tata and have a blessed Ramadan to all of you!

Tony Roma's, Pavillion KL

such a wonderful day even though it has been raining since afternoon. and i thank God for every each of His blessings.



so, for today we had lunch at tony roma's. me and yatoque. we started off with complimentary bread with beff&onion soup. it was delicious. hot and buttery. then, the onion loaf was quite good. i had to put a dose of pepper and salt to give it a ummph. so, i took some pictures of the starters but when the main came, i forgot everything. ngahaha. i had grilled lamb chop. such a big portion, i should say. yatoque had rosemary & garlic grilled chicken. overall, we we quite satisfied with the food. must say the service was brilliant!

hot beef & onion soup

onion loaf

stopped by jco for a dozen doughnuts. kesian, qaya has been bugging me for the past week to buy her doughnuts. now, i can have a piece of mind.


tomorrow will be another expedition of food at bukit damansara with fuzz. but still havent decided what place yet. maybe i'll dream on it tonight. ngahaha.


orait yaw, im outta office.


p/s: nana, please check your email. i have sent it already.

full to the brim

omg, i feel as i was being drugged. i can barely open my eyes. in fact, i just opened my eyes to the ringing phone. turned out it was my mother. telling me she made a chocolate pudding or something. great! now i can sleep off my chair then.

it must be the heavy lunch at Shangri La. it was an impulsive trip. Odah and Tok Yang came to pick me up at office. the traffic was horrendous. by the time we arrived, the buffet was nearly over. so we had to go for ala carte. our bad.

appetizers: chicken satay (hotel styled, fat and juicy), caesar salad with smoked salad (Odah's) and wild mushroom & chicken clear soup (mine). the satay was supposed to be Atok's but as usual we ended up helping ourselves too. ngehehe.

main course: roasted chicken rice (Atok's), dried wanton noodle (Odah's) and fish & chips (mine)

and we were so greedy for the buffet! the three of us couldnt finish the main courses since we were full with the appetizers. Odah was surprised that i didnt finish mine either.

the full me ;p

and now im sleepy. and full. to the point of bursting. wuhaa!

anywho, some updates on the past weekend.

SATURDAY

sat for PTD exam, public services examination throughout the whole day. by the time i came out of the exam hall, it was raining hard. trip to MAHA was cancelled. huh.

i dont know whether the exams were difficult or not but one thing that i can sum up is that i bet even the gomen people couldnt answer the papers. and the questions are soooo putar belit. just like the government itself.

movies marathon with Sayang. best2! :)

SUNDAY

after subuh prayers, slept in late until 11am. then i made maggi for both of us while watching TV. after zuhr, we slept some more until 4pm. got up and got ready. rushed over to Hanis for her son's birthday bash. met new friends and ate alot. what is it when you gossipped and the food taste even better? and i was the one who attended without kids. hmm.

after that rushed to alamanda to make monthly groceries. then picked up my SIL and sent her to UIA. traffic was bad. partly because of the rain but mostly of the accident along the highway. and ended up wandering around CONVEST. god, it seems so small and dreary. it wasnt like it used to. in my time, it was merrier and even i used to think that sucked. now it is more sucked.

when we came back, there was another accident near the Macy's. this time it was an overturned ambulance. i dont want to know or think how it got to be like that. i just shudder thinking whether there's a patient inside or not. jeez, my week is full of accidents. just please let me be safe. amen.

we got home at 1am. Sayang went to sleep directly while i was still blinking my eyes in the dark trying to sleep. finally, at 3am i switched on the TV and watched some boring sitcom that made me sleep. suddenly, it was alread 630am. and i havent got enough sleep. uwaaaa!!

so, no wonder im sleepy right now. its not the lunch then. heh.

i better go and fetch Sayang so that i can continue sleep.

a curse with security guards

today has not been too kind to me. i am having a cracking headache. maybe i am reading too many blogs. ngeh. or maybe lack of sleep because last night was nightmarish.

yesterday has not been too kind either.

remember it was monday blues yesterday? in retrospect, i bet it started with the session where i was swearing at the security guard. and, please, it was early in the morning.

the security guard stopped my car and i was fumbling around looking for my workpass. i stopped and rolled down the window.

SG: Staff ke?
Me: Ya, pakcik. (i was cursing like hellooo, its not my first time to work?!)
SG: Kolej ke TM?
Me: Oh, Kolej..
SG: Hmm, ni mane sticker ni? hah, takde sticker, park kat luar ni je.
Me: Eh, ni peraturan baru ke?
SG: Tak la. Mmg kene ada sticker nak masuk.

and dia buat muke mcm sioot je. ak dgn perasaan begitu marah sambil sumpah seranah dia, reversed and rammed the pedal. ak pecut masuk lalu pintu exit kat belakang. did you take me a fool, you bloody fool? its hard for me to get to the office that early and you didnt let me pass by? Big Mistake! (nasib baik xde kereta yg nak exit time tu)

the security at the exit was astonished to see me. i didnt care. nobody was going to stop me from parking at my space!

i told everyone and they all laughed. as usual. cess

and the worst part came.

i was going back. but i planned to meet a friend to get some things i ordered. after waiting a man in white uniform (security guard?) on a motorcycle passed by, i took right at the junction of my office. i noticed a white silverish Kancil behind me. as i was turning and waiting for the traffic light to turn green i heard a thud or a crash, something like that. but i didnt take notice that much until i felt uneasy because everyone was staring at me and pointing fingers. and i mean EVERYONE. i looked into the mirror and saw the man in white uniform sprawling in the middle of the road. i was like, oh my god? i didnt do that, did i?

i was signalling to a passer-by asking whether it's me and he nodded. at that time, i was freaking shaking and saying prayers. its amazing when at this time of critical moments you tend to remember God and you would make all kind of promises just to get you off. ;p

so i made a u-turn across the road. as i was turning, i saw a pakcik following me on a motorcycle.

Me: Pakcik, saya ke? sumpah saya x nampak pun org tu. and saya tak rase ape2 pon.
PC: Tapi diorg semua cakap awak.

oh shit! so i made the u turn and was praying as hard as ever.

i walked to the place and saw the man was bloody all over his face. true, its a security guard of other company, i cant remeber what. shit, i have such a weak stomach for blood or the smell of it. he was indonesian. and refused to be taken to the hospital. i was trying to persuade him to take him to the nearest clinic but still he refused. i was apologising to him like i never apologised before. yela kan, takkan kau x rase bersalah tgk muka org tu sampai berdarah2?

then the passers-by looked at me.

'oh kamu la yang langgar dia?!'
'eh saya tak bermaksud langsung. saya tak nampak langsung pakcik ni. sumpah saya xnampak masa saya turn. setahu saya tnggu dia pass dulu'

boleh tak aku siap nak defend diri sendiri? ngeh

then the pakcik berdarah said it wasnt me. indians knocked him down, said he. (aku rase students mmc. shit!) so everyone was questioning me aku bawak kancil putih ke. and i said, hell no, myvi merah.

and suddenly, i felt the need to sit down. i never felt so relieved in my whole life. tak sia2 aku panjat doa bersungguh2. ;p

and sampai hari ni aku terbayang2 muka pakcik tu. how he kept licking his own blood. and even pissed in his pants. and orang2 yg duk accuse ak xde nak offer nak bwk dia pergi clinic pun and alih2 je da dissapear. nasib baik ada astu mamat ni yg sungguh baik offerkan diri dia. yela, ak bole je nk bwk but i cant go alone right? i am so damned scaredy cat!

and now, my headache wont still go away. i think i am going to take medical leave. and leave my shitty boss to attend the meeting alone. ngahahaha *evil laugh*

but i wonder how people can just knock someone down and get away without feeling a little bit of guilt at all? i am so ashamed. and sad too. it just reflects how cruel and heartless people can be now..

i rest my case.

minus 1

hello everyone.

finally i can let out a breathe. for now. this morning we just opened an event and will be closed this friday. and in between there will be meetings and whatsonot. and not forgetting odah's birthday. am still trying to figure out how im gonna do lunch with her when im full with meetings that day?

i can believe its monday today. the past weekend was not enough for me. i need more!! ngeheheh. the tiredness from the other past weekend is still not over. and newly past weekend was like a blast. full of weddings, as expected what with the school holidays and all.

FRIDAY

we'll start with friday. i finished early since boss told me to go to a meeting on his behalf. though i grumbled (a lot) i went because i know then i could get off ealier. and there was a girls get-together at midvalley. even though i missed out on the pizzas but i was in time for the ice-cream!!!hehe..someone please do a count on my calories intake?!
then i crashed at my grandma's, just to while away the traffic jam. ended up sleeping until 10pm. god! i was that tired. then went home and...erm..continue sleep? ngeh.

SATURDAY

got up quite late. got ready for 2 weddings. one in cheras and the other one in keramat. good thing it wasnt that far from one place to other. plus, i was alone (hubby's in pasir gudang) and people who knows me know that i suck at directions. ngeh. and im proud i didnt end up lost. ;p

the girls

hib and i

mas nasyida and newly wed hubby

last pose before exiting ;p

had barbeque that night. the last barbeque for rumaisa, at least, since she will be leaving for the states next day. close relatives and family friends came too. and my MIL came too! she was quite surprised that i can make mashed potato. because all this while i have been playing dumb in the kitchen with her. (tu namanye MALAS)

and sya, we slept together that night kan? next 3 years baru bole tidur dgn ak lagi..heheh

SUNDAY

around 10.30am rumaisa and the parents went to KLIA. they had to be early, JPA bullshit procedures. we (as in odah, qaya and i) went a bit later. we had to make a stop first at alamanda. i didnt have the time to look for a gift so it was now or never. we ended up choosing a necklace with pendant, a key with small diamonds. it was quite cute alright. and we gave a card that i bet my ass off that made her cry in the plane. nghaha. kan sya? kau jgn tipu aku...

dan ibu pun menangis juga.

i didnt. i thought i was going to but i didnt. everyone made a joke who will be crying the most, or loudest should i say? but odah cried while she was writing the card. opps, i let the cat out! ngeh.

the family portrait

the gedikness ;p

odah & sya = gedikness

the gedikness of three

after that, odah and i rushed to another wedding in ampang. it was my ex-schoolmates' so couldnt miss that one. i try not not to miss close friends' weddings, if i can help it.

now, im having monday blues. and procrastinating. i have a few articles to write but i cant let my hands type away. except for this entry, of course. ngahaha.

to aunty, i think i havent apologise properly. im so sorry couldnt see you when you came down that weekend. i feel so horribly gulity. i have to make up to u but knowing u, who knows what u'll be asking for! *winks*

and to uncle, happy belated birthday. maybe i'll treat you a cake the next time around.

and last sya, take care eh over there. do always get on YM alright. just wait for me, but next year la kan..hehe (ibu mengeluh skrg tinggal 3 je kat rumah. rase dulu beranak 6)

ngahahaha.

mixture of chaos

oh people, i am running after time. literally, as i speak.

the last post was on last thrusday and today is already wednesday. and so much has happened in that time. some happy moments and also bad moments too.

the bad news was my aunt died yesterday. her son called up everyone and was such in a state. i was getting ready to go office when ling-ling called me to tell the bad news. i was on the way to their house when she gave out at 7.45am.

it was a shock actually and still is until now. i cant believe that she's really gone. i know that she was ill for the past few years and suddenly she took a bad turn last two weeks. and i didnt even get to see her. the last time was when we went to langkawi for uzair's engagement.

i wonder what's raya going to be like now. because she's the one who really like to do makan-makan.

and you know what, my heart just crushed and my tears will roll down whenever i see my cousin. i just feel so sorry for him. and to make things worse, he's the only child. of course la he is close to the mother. he tries so hard not to cry in front of everyone but i know how he feels. because i would feel the same if something like that happen to me too. and being me, i dont know what to say to make him a bit okay.

i think i cant write about Sayang's lil sis's wedding. it was quite an affair, i must say. since sakit pinggang aku tak hilang lagi. bila2 da hilang sebak aku cerita la if the news tak basi lagi. anywho, there were no pictures of me so maybe it will be a gone entry. ngahaha. congratulations, though!

okay, i'm off now to tahlil. please sedekah alfatihah to my aunt. thanks!

sometimes i wonder too, when will i ever get a baby?

and bila kerja aku nak sudah ni???

the need to write down

finally. a time to myself before im off to meet the girls.

today has been a hellish hectic day. everything has to be done by today since i will be on leave tomorrow. and it doesnt help that i got to the office at 10 o'clock morning. but im sure glad the invitations have been sent out already and just a case of follow-ups after that. and the speeches too.

there was a debate whether i should be the emcee or not. frankly speaking, i dont think im mentally prepared yet for that. closing ceremony is supposed to be bigger that the opening so you can guess who will be at the closing. yeah, all the bigshots. i think im doing just nice with the opening right now.

yesterday i had dinner at Hotel Istana. chinese cuisine. just as i like it. seeing that i have to be on diet. ngeheheh. it was a function for top corporate performers. and TM came around 8, i think. and guess who is the1st? petronas, yeah.

tonight Sayang will be back so i have to pck him up. i would say tonight, more likely early in the morning, 3 am. so that means i cant sleep until 3 am because if i do, no howling ghosts and thunder can wake me up. heh.

you know, i think i kinda like this bloggy thingy. it makes me feel good. i havent write for so long. plus, i need a space, even momentarily, just to be and feel myself. and all these time, i feel as all my creativity and energy is cooped up inside me. not that they are coming out now, but let time decides that. im not trying to be a literate here and of course not a poet (i would be a genius if i can write poems). for now, im letting go off my thoughts after hard work. so that i still know that im capable of thinking and dreaming of silly things. my forte actually. heh.

alright guys. seeing that its coming to a weekend and i wont be in office tommorrow, have a nice weekend. gosh, its already weekend? how time really flies! and wish me luck, i will be the makeup artist for Sayang's sister, she's getting married tomorrow. and that also depends whether she still needs me or not. heh.

and of course, this weekend will be busy with weddings, im sure. so happy getting married and going to weddings!

tata.

of durians and choc brownies

officially, i am single today. but not available. how cliche is that?

hadnt realise that today is already tuesday and monday just passed. tomorrow will be wednesday. how time flies! in an hour i will be off to a meeting in damansara. of course, on behalf of my boss. just so not to make me pissed off, he said i can go back early. thats the good side of it. the bad side? i hate meetings. period.

its good that i can get off early. tonight there will be yaasiin reading at my in-laws. everybody has been pressing me to go, including my mom. its not that i dont want to, its just that i hate driving in traffic jams so to avoid them, i always go back late around 8pm. but since im off early, home sweet home.

i made chocolate brownies this past weekends. and everyone just loves it! surprisingly, i only get to eat a few spoonfuls since i dont generally tuck into my own cooking.

and seeing its my boss's birthday yesterday, i gave him the brownies too. hahah. i know you're surprised after all this time ive been bitching on about him. but i have reasons to do so. and he was sooooo surprised. of course. no worries, the intentioned gesture is just another tool in my plan. and of course, i wont tell what the plan is. heh.

and durians. the king of all fruits, they call them. i ate durians. after more than 10 years hating and avoiding those thorny fruits. and it isnt the normal kinds, i tell you. got them from UPM and of course they are known for their best durians. it is so succulent and sweet and creamy. gemokkss!

i so want to go shopping. i so want to buy shoessss!!
(my friend says that sounds like a true bimbo)

ngagahahahaha!

pre-depression moment

i am too depressed today.

i always get depressed before Sayang is going out-station.
i just can't help myself, feeling unloved and alone.

so i am going to write a small depressed excerpt. just to make myself more depressed. hahah.

****************************************

they arrive at the stop point.

again she waits. for a loving gesture. if not a small one. but nothing happens. as usual.

'i'll see you later okay?'

she nods. as if everything is okay when she knows its not.

her heart wrenches.
with pain and sadness.
with love and remorse.
with certain and uncertainty.
with crushed emotions and tears.
with unanswered questions and questionable answers.

is it too much to ask?
is it so hard to understand?
or is he too egomaniac to show?

she just want a little bit of love. nothing more. nothing less.
a little bit of understanding too, if it is not too much to ask for.

she wishes she is a bird.
free. like a bird.

a little peck on the head.
a little peck of love on the head.
a little peck of kindness on the head.
a little peck of understanding on the head.

still, is it too much to ask for a little peck on the head?

*************************************************

im glad i have my Sayang to be there for me.
i wonder how a person can survive like that.
i'd free myself, i would.

oh shit, this is getting nowhere.

i might as well go and meet Sayang.

my anti-depression prescription.

anyway, hope you guys will have a nice weekend.

i hope i will.