pre-depression moment

i am too depressed today.

i always get depressed before Sayang is going out-station.
i just can't help myself, feeling unloved and alone.

so i am going to write a small depressed excerpt. just to make myself more depressed. hahah.

****************************************

they arrive at the stop point.

again she waits. for a loving gesture. if not a small one. but nothing happens. as usual.

'i'll see you later okay?'

she nods. as if everything is okay when she knows its not.

her heart wrenches.
with pain and sadness.
with love and remorse.
with certain and uncertainty.
with crushed emotions and tears.
with unanswered questions and questionable answers.

is it too much to ask?
is it so hard to understand?
or is he too egomaniac to show?

she just want a little bit of love. nothing more. nothing less.
a little bit of understanding too, if it is not too much to ask for.

she wishes she is a bird.
free. like a bird.

a little peck on the head.
a little peck of love on the head.
a little peck of kindness on the head.
a little peck of understanding on the head.

still, is it too much to ask for a little peck on the head?

*************************************************

im glad i have my Sayang to be there for me.
i wonder how a person can survive like that.
i'd free myself, i would.

oh shit, this is getting nowhere.

i might as well go and meet Sayang.

my anti-depression prescription.

anyway, hope you guys will have a nice weekend.

i hope i will.