a curse with security guards

today has not been too kind to me. i am having a cracking headache. maybe i am reading too many blogs. ngeh. or maybe lack of sleep because last night was nightmarish.

yesterday has not been too kind either.

remember it was monday blues yesterday? in retrospect, i bet it started with the session where i was swearing at the security guard. and, please, it was early in the morning.

the security guard stopped my car and i was fumbling around looking for my workpass. i stopped and rolled down the window.

SG: Staff ke?
Me: Ya, pakcik. (i was cursing like hellooo, its not my first time to work?!)
SG: Kolej ke TM?
Me: Oh, Kolej..
SG: Hmm, ni mane sticker ni? hah, takde sticker, park kat luar ni je.
Me: Eh, ni peraturan baru ke?
SG: Tak la. Mmg kene ada sticker nak masuk.

and dia buat muke mcm sioot je. ak dgn perasaan begitu marah sambil sumpah seranah dia, reversed and rammed the pedal. ak pecut masuk lalu pintu exit kat belakang. did you take me a fool, you bloody fool? its hard for me to get to the office that early and you didnt let me pass by? Big Mistake! (nasib baik xde kereta yg nak exit time tu)

the security at the exit was astonished to see me. i didnt care. nobody was going to stop me from parking at my space!

i told everyone and they all laughed. as usual. cess

and the worst part came.

i was going back. but i planned to meet a friend to get some things i ordered. after waiting a man in white uniform (security guard?) on a motorcycle passed by, i took right at the junction of my office. i noticed a white silverish Kancil behind me. as i was turning and waiting for the traffic light to turn green i heard a thud or a crash, something like that. but i didnt take notice that much until i felt uneasy because everyone was staring at me and pointing fingers. and i mean EVERYONE. i looked into the mirror and saw the man in white uniform sprawling in the middle of the road. i was like, oh my god? i didnt do that, did i?

i was signalling to a passer-by asking whether it's me and he nodded. at that time, i was freaking shaking and saying prayers. its amazing when at this time of critical moments you tend to remember God and you would make all kind of promises just to get you off. ;p

so i made a u-turn across the road. as i was turning, i saw a pakcik following me on a motorcycle.

Me: Pakcik, saya ke? sumpah saya x nampak pun org tu. and saya tak rase ape2 pon.
PC: Tapi diorg semua cakap awak.

oh shit! so i made the u turn and was praying as hard as ever.

i walked to the place and saw the man was bloody all over his face. true, its a security guard of other company, i cant remeber what. shit, i have such a weak stomach for blood or the smell of it. he was indonesian. and refused to be taken to the hospital. i was trying to persuade him to take him to the nearest clinic but still he refused. i was apologising to him like i never apologised before. yela kan, takkan kau x rase bersalah tgk muka org tu sampai berdarah2?

then the passers-by looked at me.

'oh kamu la yang langgar dia?!'
'eh saya tak bermaksud langsung. saya tak nampak langsung pakcik ni. sumpah saya xnampak masa saya turn. setahu saya tnggu dia pass dulu'

boleh tak aku siap nak defend diri sendiri? ngeh

then the pakcik berdarah said it wasnt me. indians knocked him down, said he. (aku rase students mmc. shit!) so everyone was questioning me aku bawak kancil putih ke. and i said, hell no, myvi merah.

and suddenly, i felt the need to sit down. i never felt so relieved in my whole life. tak sia2 aku panjat doa bersungguh2. ;p

and sampai hari ni aku terbayang2 muka pakcik tu. how he kept licking his own blood. and even pissed in his pants. and orang2 yg duk accuse ak xde nak offer nak bwk dia pergi clinic pun and alih2 je da dissapear. nasib baik ada astu mamat ni yg sungguh baik offerkan diri dia. yela, ak bole je nk bwk but i cant go alone right? i am so damned scaredy cat!

and now, my headache wont still go away. i think i am going to take medical leave. and leave my shitty boss to attend the meeting alone. ngahahaha *evil laugh*

but i wonder how people can just knock someone down and get away without feeling a little bit of guilt at all? i am so ashamed. and sad too. it just reflects how cruel and heartless people can be now..

i rest my case.