Sakan

I've been quiet, I know, but that doesn't mean I'm gone.

There were posts I wrote, most at times during one of my passionate moods, but sadly, unfinished. Sometimes, my boss would come up to my desk, I had to hide it quickly, or a friend asked out for breakfast and by the time I get back to it, the moment has passed. Not to worry though, I'm sure those mood swings will come by soon enough.

Let's start on a lighter mood, shall we?

This month is going too fast. Niece was admitted in DSH last Sunday for something bacterial thingy, I'm not sure what (there's a reason why I can never be a doctor ;p), then her brother was admitted yesterday. The parents must be tired out, what with the SIL being heavily pregnant. But the kids are getting okay now, hopefully they are out by end of this week.

A few weeks ago, lil brother got married. All the fussy last moments came to end, everyone is breathing easily now. Welcome, you, to our 'crazy' family. ;) Two more to go, hoyeah!

And then there's the Bali trip, postponed since last year, so I hope that nothing happens to cancel out the trip again, insya Allah. We fly off this Saturday evening and come back on Wednesday morning. On the same day, I will be off to Singapore in the evening until Saturday. That's a whole week of balas dendam untuk bercuti. Sakan nooooo… Heheh.

Being a sporadic (writer) that I am, I don't know when I will write again. If I can't contain myself over the excitement of going somewhere, you'll find me here again. I kan batak sikit, jarang lihat dunia orang ni.

p/s: On a heavier note, I'm broke even before the month runs out.

clarks warehouse sale

just got back from the clarks warehouse sale at corus hotel. man, were they humans or what?

yeap, the office is still meltingly hot so i decide to check out the sale. arrived around 9.20am and there were 50 people queuing already. i was alone so i enjoyed observing people without disturbance. kids screaming and running around, parents 'trying' to hush them, in an annoying way, 'sit down there' and 'put there'. geez, these kids are sure lucky coz in my days, us kids were always left at home while the parents did the shopping.

by the time i got in the hall, people, especially WOMEN were crowding along the tables, fingers pointing towards pictures, yelling for shoe sizes while the salespeople trying hard to entertain everyone and reprimanding not to push the tables at the same time. i was partly amused, and annoyed too. the deal is, get all the shoes you want and try them in the middle of the room where there is space. if it doesnt suit you, there are people in charge who will take care of the unwanted items. not try them at the tables and shoving people away. such selfishness! if you really want to try at the spot, go to the shop itself, you can take all the time there.

and there was this makcik, telling off another chinese lady for pushing her, 'awak tu jangan tolak2 saya pun nak beli kasut jugak' and the salesperson got a word too, 'saya dari tadi mintak ni tak dengar2 pun'. it's interesting to watch this kind of spectacle, in fact you will be amazed by what you learn about other people.

in the end, i didnt buy anything, everything in my size were sold out. kids shoes were at ridiculous price of rm80 per pair. i could get a nice new pair of shoes for myself at that price! anyways, ever since i got back after a short stay in uk, sales here dont attract me as much as before. now, i'm spending wisely. hahahahhahaha

oh yeah, if you are interested, go to corus hotel in jalan ampang. the sale ends tomorrow.

Brain dead with a hot bod

The air-condition system has not been functioning since yesterday due to a leakage in chilled pipes and the TNB people are still working on them.

Yesterday, the office attended an event at the National Library, so that was a relief.

Today, we are still debating to go somewhere cooler, like, a cinema hall, perhaps?

Don't ever get stuck in a building without air-cond especially when no windows can be opened. It can affect the brain to do nothing at all. Even pooping in toilets can take up so much energy and by the time you are done, you're sweating bullets the whole body. Don't ask, I know.

And there's the fear of eating. Or in my case, abstinence from spicy food. Cili padi is my life-time best friend and not one day I miss them out. It's torturing to think I have to pass them and eat the tasteless cafeteria food. Never in my whole life can food be so bland. I mean, who can walk into the office with sweaty shirt stuck on the back? EUW.

Drama, drama, drama.

Getting this written is giving me a major headache. It's like squeezing out the ideas from the brain. Is this how brain-dead feels like? I cant even read emails. Isk isk isk. Maybe that cool cinema hall wont such a bad idea after all. Any movie will do because I'm sure I'm gonna sleep through it. ;p

As usual, when the school hols start, the office becomes a bit too quiet. To the point at 5.25pm when the centralized air-cond shuts off, silence is more like death. If someone happens to sneeze, you'll jump out of your skin. You could even hear the small ants walking on your desk.

With the boss out of town, you can imagine my state. Laziness could not describe the real picture. Everyday, I come into office at nearly 9am. Because you see, if the kids get to sleep in, why can't I sleep in a bit late too? Heheh.

Here's a bit of a joke for you guys. Since I've been complaining lately about how bored I am nowadays, suddenly I decided to take up lil brother's hantaran deco. Those who know me very well know that I do not have a creative bone at all when it comes to twisting ribbons and sticking roses.

Mom is a bit unsupportive and supportive at the same time. Supportive, she's glad that someone is going to do the hantaran as the aunty we used to deal with had a last minute emergency back-out. Unsupportive, because it's me who'll be doing it and because she happens to be my mother, of course she's doubtful, especially when I always do things half-way through. Heheh

I said, at least I got through my degree!

Anyhow, before you start being doubtful towards me, I'm doing this with a friend at my office. Bonus point is that she lives in Kajang. And of course, most importantly more creative than I because she made hantarans and what not for her own wedding. Well, I'm not asking too much, just a simple deco can say a lot more, right?

So, I did some research and googling, I can safely conclude that roses is the rage in town. Blue, red, yellow, purple, pink, cream, you name it. They have roses in every colour. Truthfully speaking, I am not a flower person and roses are the last choice I would make. Since I couldn't be bothered with my own wedding long ago (there were roses too!), I decide not to use roses for the lil bro's deco. I'm sure there are other poor flowers waiting to be exposed like lilies and orchids. Poor them!

The wedding's less than a month now, we are in the middle of planning a spree and doing some online research too. Seeing that I usually am cool and laidback, I can imagine mum's tearing her hair out worrying I might not complete the hantarans. We'll see, shall we?

Seasonal swings

I seem to realize that ever since I started working in 2007, I find myself most disoriented starting May until October/ September. That is, if the situation does not get any worse or it will go on until November.

This sickness is like a season, in my life cycle. I have 3 seasons, one, bliss happiness and carefree, two, disorientation and restless, three, anger and frustration.

I would be really happy and contented, everything I do or say in high spirit. Then after some time, the cheerful side wears off, plunging me into gloomy doom. I start to feel restless, having no specific aims and I begin to question, is this all I can be happy about? So I initiate a search, to find something that may spark interest again. When I fail (which is the most usual case), I fall deeper, feeling angry towards the world, lashing out to the closest and nearest, blaming at anything just to ease the frustration.

Then, I learn to forgive and forget. Back to the cheerful season and cycle goes on. I guess that's a reason why I forget things easily. Sometimes, I get things mixed up too.

At times, I ask whether this is what I really want, not just a thing that I'd do because everyone is doing it. Yes, as much as I hate to admit, I think, subconsciously, I tend to follow in people's footsteps. What's good for them should be good enough for me, right? So they say…

To make my disposition clearly complicated as it is, I have multiple choice disorder (MCD). (I may have mentioned this in the earlier posts). I have trouble in making the right decisions hence why sometimes I end up buying the same item in different colours. I'm afraid of making the wrong choices. Most of the time, I worried what if that other one is the right one?

That being said, I'm in search mode season now. I hope what I'm looking for will be the best thing. It's just a matter of time and patience.

When patience is not exactly my strongest forte.

The best week ever

Weekend was fabulous. In fact the whole week was fabulous.

Started with two celebrations for Ibu, one on her actual birth date at Subak in TTDI and another surprise throw at Ruz Aladdin in Ampang. Ayah requested me to organize a surprise for her, which I did and could have gone as planned if Ayah could just stick to the plan and, well, keep a secret. I never knew he could be so bad at lying AND keeping secrets.

Scouting for a present was supposed to be a secret. Ayah, of course, had to let it out to Ibu AND paid with a credit card where monthly statements are screened by her (she settles all the necessary bills btw). Of course, she questions a lot but we managed to get that covered up.

Overall, the surprise went well, in fact she called us bragging that she's off with ayah to a special place. When asked, she answered "rahsia" such in a way to irritate us. Turned out the joke's on her and we wouldn't live it down. Been imitating around the house with that snotty tone, "rahsia". Ibu said she won't be fooled anymore after this. Heh

Then it was small getaway with the family in Port Dickson. Got a great deal at Ancasa Suites. And the nephew and niece were hilarious. They were the most entertaining part of the trip. Everything that comes out of their mouth or do, we clap in glee and laugh our heads off. Such clever beings. Yeah, now we talk like the nephew. "Sama nah". (Sama lah)

Oh I teach him to sing 'please please please kamu jangan nakal'. Of course in his version, 'pnis pnis pnis…' hahah. Loved that one.

Back to work, suddenly I feel tired out. The boss is not in, have some things pending on him, so in the meantime, here goes an update. And on days I feel like pasting some pictures, cables go missing. Couldn't be bothered to search for them in this hot weather. ;p

Am planning another trip so that the bali trip comes more quickly. heh

When I actually have lots of time on hand, I don't know what to write. Its when things get really paced that I will go, 'ah I'm going to blog this blab la.. that bla bla'. Now, I'm having the whole world to myself, I'm out of ideas. Frustrating I tell you.

It must be the briyani rice, chicken curry, naan bread, lamb curry and sago gula Melaka that's making me go like this. Gosh, did I really eat all of that? *cringes* okay, I will hit the gym if I have time. *burps loudly*

On a different note, Syarif has been away for 3 days and he's coming back this evening. Hope to God that he won't request late night snacks. I cant refuse, right? Not an obedient wife would do anyway. J

Sister's safely back from the states for a short break. And oh yeah, nearly broke my bank too. All the more reason to work harder. As if! Hihihi. Ibu's birthday is coming up next week, and plans are waiting to be executed. After this, it's not the breaking bank I have to deal only, my almost popping belly too!

Some things happened in the office yesterday, that got me rethinking my future plans. Being the kind who always wants to know for sure, I find it hard when things don't really go my way. For example, I need to affirm that I will love the job I take up. I cant play God so I have to learn to take things easy and make the best out of things.

It is disappointing really when you meet people for the first time, work up expectations and turn out that it is all bullshit. For the strong-hearted, they will trudge on and find ways to overcome, but for people like me, indecisive at best, and a quitter at most times, will be heart-broken and do nothing about it, just like a wounded puppy.

The lesson here? Don't put too high a hope. But, then that would make me an all-time pessimist.