why, baby, why?

my mood is as grey as the skies today.

i had a really really really bad dream last night. i even cried in my sleep.

i woke up to syarif's calling my name. he hugged but i pulled away and turned back on him. i couldn't bear the pain i felt in my dream, it was so real. in the dream, he made me cry with my whole heart. that's me, getting all confused with dreams and reality.

i come into work feeling all shrivelled up. i can feel a part of me is still crying quietly, for no reason.

i wish there's a guarantee nothing bad will happen in this life. and that's life, you just can't predict what will, can happen. you just have to take it bravely and trudge on. and most times i doubt that i am strong enough to face all these things. yeah, i may look tough (and meaty) on the outside, but the inside, it's like a jelly wobbly ready to fall anytime.

oh shit, look what a bad dream can do to you.