overdosed: nasi minyak

it's been a long weekend, i must say.

as planned, i took EL on friday. didn't do much. went to pick up Tok Yang to see Paksu at Pantai Hospital. he was suspected of gastric but i guess a major one since he couldn't function really well. heheh. you see, he keeps a very strict diet, no fats, low sugar, low calories etc etc. but only one thing that he cannot survive without is his beloved MAGGI! he would have his really calorie-less, no fat and tasteless dinner but he would take maggi after a few hours. this has been going for years and he's really thin. honestly, i think that he looks a bit sick but i didnt tell him because he thinks he's very healthy considering the healthy food he's taking (minus the maggi noodles, please). hahah. so, i guess all the maggi he has eaten these few years has finally caught up with him. he vows he will never eat maggi again, so we'll see how that goes. a saying i heard before, an addict needs hard work to overcome his addict. do i make sense? hahah.

saturday was a day full of kenduri. school holidays has just started so musim mengawan is on. heheh. thank god it was just in wangsa maju. but sunday, hubs and i went to ipoh to attend his friend's wedding. i had enough of nasi minyak since saturday so i asked my other to stop at sungai buloh and had nasi lemak.

he was like, 'we are going to the kenduri, can't you wait?'

'no, i cant because i'm hungry and if i'm hungry i will be cranky throughout the journey' (hahah)

so we stopped. i'm glad i did because the nasi minyak wasn't that nice, the rice was mentah so i barely ate a few spoons. heheh.

so, here i am, back in office overdosed of nasi minyak. cirit2 pun dah banyak kali. no pressure yet in office because boss is not in till after lunch.

im breathing freely, for now.

loooooong hols

hola there.

it's been a while, i know, so forgive me. (as if anybody misses me, heh). i was writing a post last thursday but something came up (i can't remember what since i had a loooooong holiday) so tersimpan je la dia dalam draft mode. i thought of continuing it but i can't since the moment has passed. it wouldn't feel right or sound good. plus, i don't remember what i intended to write. ;p

i took leave since friday and today i'm back in office. how i hate it. i'm planning to skip work tomorrow because tomorrow is friday, then the holidays will be a bit longer. next week, i'll be good, i promise. heh. but if i hate my work, how am i going to be good, i ask you? oh god, im making excuses again of not going to work! suddenly i remember ashton kutcher says to cameron diaz in 'leaving vegas',

"i would rather do nothing that makes me happy rather than do something that i'm not happy"

i mean, how true is that? all of our lives has been constructed by what people expected of us. starting with what you want to be and ended who you going to get married with. thank god i married the guy that i want. but im sure parents know best for their children, so if you're not my parents, just butt out ok?

but that line really got me thinking of getting a job that i really would love. i'm waiting for the moment that i can just breeze through every jobs possible just to find which one really cuts it for me. but the thought of being in debt makes me still stuck in this stupid black patch. yes, i intend to call my moment at the current workplace 'black patch'. i don't know why, because i don't see any light perhaps? hahah.

my parents will be coming back soon. sooner than expected. i feel relieved at last. i thought living at your parents will be easier (and saving) but no i tell you. living in a small space doesnt agree with me, especially in my condition. i have no space to keep my things and i keep on buying things. everything is just not organised. most of my things are missing. and i cringed everytime i look at my poor things being crammed into tiny space that i can find.

moving to places at every 2-3 weeks can be tiring. and im the type of person that needs everything around me so that when i need them, they are just there. with me. not at my parents, PILs or my place. but with ME, at all times. not to forget to mention that im such an absent-minded, klutzy, and cluttered person so i always end up frustrated when the things i need most are not there.

but now, MIL is away and she asked us to stay at her house until august. just when i thought merempat life is over i have to merempat at my MIL's. no offence though, you just need a place of your own when you're living with a life partner. and when the significant other is off for two weeks, i'll end up at my parents. again. thank god i don't have a kid at the moment. if i do, i'll be tearing my hair out. i can't wait for my apartment to be ready by the end of this year. it will be nearer to our parents so i get to see them everyday. living and stopping by is totally different, i tell you. stopping by means free meals. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

see? long holidays make me an almost amiable person. plus, boss is not in and i don't have to listen to his so irritating voice. therefore, i see a holiday again. tomorrow. hahah.

the chosen one

hello again.

it's been a while i have not post anything up here. it's not like i don't have the time, i do. it's just that everytime i click on create post, everything went blank. but weirdly enough, i have lots of things to tell. one by one, eh? ;p

about work, i have chosen option 2 and seterusnya. option 1 is totally out of the question. so, one morning i told my boss my decision.

"saya pilih option 2"

boss, "what? are you really serious? i mmg berharap pada option 1 sebab i masih rasa boleh lagi dgn sarah."

"nope, saya mmg tak boleh dengan boss. i think if we're friends only maybe we can but i really can't work with you as a boss. i'm sorry"

boss, "really? man..uissh..so you are really sticking to this? so when do you plan to go then? won't you consider staying for another 6 months? plus, you're still green and tak banyak experience."

"it;s ok, boss. before this pun i ada kerja gak. anyway, i'm trying to get a place near to my home. plus i da beli a house (that's another story, guys!)."

boss, "ok..i really can't hold you back. at least try to wait until june. there will be major structure. who knows, maybe i have to be transferred. i had other offers. and i'm sure you'll be happier. maybe you don't have to trransfer."

"yes, boss, i know. thats why i'm holding on until june. so no need to give any work yang susah-susah sangat. nanti payah for the new person to handle." (boleh tak aku cakap macm tu?) ;p

boss, "ada pulak. just do your work as usual. and please, i need one favour. rajin-rajin la senyum kat saya. kan itu sedekah."

i went like, WTF !@#$%&&^%$%. "saya senyum pada orang yang saya suka je."

and i went out of his office, without a SMILE.

options..options..

not posting does not mean that i am not stressed anymore. it's just that i do not have words strong enough to picture what i feel right now. this, i need to deal it myself.

here are the options being laid out to me:

1) start anew with Boss and try to tolerate with him.
- if i can't stand him now, do you think i can tolerate him in the future? jeez, no! plus, i dwell on revenge so this option is out of favour.

2) fill in transfer forms.
- by all means, he will help me to transfer anywhere i want. teruja sioott. but then i have to start all over again, making new friends, getting to know new places and routes (i suck at directions) and i hate thinking of making new of everything. but looking on the bright side, i get to choose near my home. then i don't have to get up early anymore. heheh. so this one can still be opted.

3) give 3 months notice.
- i would dearly love to quit this stupid company. but then, i will have to pay them back. even though it's not that much but still, i don't want to waste money paying back debts. so i have to slave away? uhuh, my heart breaks just thinking about it. if i get better offers that can pay them off, definitely i would jump at the chance.

4) be a civil servant.
- ok this option is not laid out by Boss. but i'm still opting on it. if i do get the job, 70% of me will accept it. even though people will look down on gomen, but i don't know...maybe i know i am better than them? huahuahauhua. (well, i'm sure that i will be more bergaya and quicker. heh)

well, i have not made any decisions just yet. i am still waiting for something to happen. who knows, maybe the boss will be transferred. then i don't have to move. heheh. but if the new boss will be much worse, honestly i will ask to be transferred. or quit.

i seriously need a break. i'm searching for a place to go to. not where many people go to or for shopping. i just need a relaxing holiday. where i can sit quietly and look out at the sea for hours, wait for sunsets and sunrises. walk along the beach. feeling the wind in my face and not thinking about work. and of course, spending time with him. without anyone disturbing us. so where do you suggest, people? i was thinking of bali but then he couldnt get away too long from office. that would have to wait at the end of year. so it goes down to perhentian, lang tengah, tioman or pangkor. langkawi is not considered because i'll be going there in june with family so that doesnt count. see the pictures below? hmmm

imagine me walking on the bridge with my sweetheart, waiting for the sunset..heeee. or maybe on the rocks, laying naked...opps

need some serious surfing to do. because there are so many options in choosing these islands. heh.

one of the 'menggelupur' days

as usual, a post will be in when i'm at work.

yesterday, already i felt the tension rising inside me just thinking of going to work. labor day was a blast and to make it blaster (if there ever is a word) i took friday off. so in all, it was 4-day leave that made me feel not wanting to go to work anymore. plus, it's monday blues aight?

i wish i can quit work. please, sayang?

but i made it to work today. i ironed workclothes last night (just to give a boost), leaving me no excuse of not going. then, i have to give the PM forms to Khairil so i really cannot go. hmmm. i got to punched in this morning which shows im quite early. last month i punched half of the card because i was so late but nobody took action on me. hahah. im going to miss that one when i quit this place.

when i opened my mail, my boss sent email informing a meeting with the agency this afternoon. so guys, i can imagine how menggelupur he will be today. man, i'm bracing myself for whatever happens. thank god, i have an intern here so i can be the BIG BOSS. hahah *evil laugh.

i'm hungry but am too lazy to look for something to eat. im trying to hold on until this afternoon meeting's refreshment. hahah. i have to skimp, i cannot afford to spend money on food now. i need it for my retail therapy. plus sae'ed lost my watch so maybe i have to get a more expensive one so that that i won't leave it around ;p

back to work, guys. if menggelupuring happens today, you'll hear from me soon. somehow i'm waiting for it to happen. hahahahah

***********************************************

it's 5.37pm. i'm going home now. but just a little update here. yep, definitely it was a menggelupur day. my boss shouted at me and i shouted back. u don't wanna know what was said and i even threw my glasses on the table. god, i don't know how long i'm going to survive just by looking at him only. well, right now, i don't exactly speak to him, just grunting replies. heheh. like, 'uphh' at each sentence of his. hahah

well, at least everything went well. definitely i'm filling the transfer forms. now, i have to pick up my other half and home sweet home.

i miss home.

i am a bully

my third attempt today.

i have something to tell but i need to sort it out in my head first. so, just let me tell you the meaning of my name. i got this from The Pink Stilettos while blog-hopping.

What Sarah Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

somehow, i think most of them are quite true. thinking back on them, no wonder my boss couldn't handle me. i can be such a bitch and without regrets too. i can just listen to him droning on with his stupid voice and when he suddenly asks a question, i would just shrug and pull my face without saying a word. it gives me satisfaction knowing that he is so frustrated with me. ok enough of him, i got a major headache already, thanks to him.

the things that i need to sort out is about him and work. and myself too i guess. because it all started inside me right? hahah. but i do not want to put the whole blame on me. i have to put it on someone else, my boss maybe? just to get a perspective on my stupid problem.

so conclusion is my name says that i am such a strong person and nobody can bully me around, especially my boss.

the next topic would be, who's to blame for the name given to me. for making me what i am today.

hahah. nah kidding, i love my name.