nyctophobia

yesterday saw syarif off. we didnt get to say goodbye properly. after all, what is 3-4 days right? still, i felt half of me drowned in nothingness.

it's worst at night. too quiet for my liking. and it's the usual moment we talk and bicker. and i miss that. :(

i begged to sleep with littlest sister. 'ah, mesti sebab kau tak berlaki sekarang kan'. i had to put on my best sad puppy face.

it rained the whole night and i felt lost for no reason. i slept, feeling sad. in the middle of the night, woke up with a start and accidentally stretched my right leg into wrong position. the tendon pulled tightly and cramped at the ball of my muscle leg. i whimpered and cried but nobody answered. littlest sister was snoring gently beside me, not caring what's happening around her.

i consoled myself back to sleep. if only my half-soul was here...

i'm glad daylight came, even thought the skies are grey, as grey as my feelings of this moment.

i have come to dread dark nights.