Bebel sokmo

Naturally, I was thrilled by the idea of backpacking to Kelantan. The main intention was to fetch sarip's car, borrowed by an uncle from Thailand.

(Ya pandai pinjam, tak reti nak pulang balik)

So, last Saturday, we set off at 830pm by bus and arrived on the following morning, 530am. Stopped at a nearby mosque, freshened up, did subuh prayers and slept a little while. Then we had breakfast, kelantanese of course, nasi kerabu! Went to the post office to renew the car's road tax. That took quite a while because it's hard to get the lowest third party insurance. We had to make do with 8k coverage when the car is only at 5k of value.

(yeap, that certain uncle is a totally irresponsible person)

After all said been done, we went to pick up the car. Imagine our horrors! The paint was bad, seats were ripped, interior was wet because of the rain, not to mention the unclogging smell, dashboard no longer dashing, broken air-condition, bald tires, unwashed for God knows how long. Easier said, it was really in appalling state.

The car was used for kutip derma, to build a mosque in Thailand. Because of that good intention, we had no qualms of lending it. It was left with one of his friends, who's assisting with the kutip derma job. And of course, we should have known when they were not around when we came. They just left the keys in the car. Being me, I ranted, literally, in front of their house when I saw a woman (maybe it's the wife) peeping behind curtains. Lagi tinggilah suara aku membebel, especially the part, hoh kalau dia datang rumah wae memang nak kena dengan aku ni.

Memang dasar pengecut, tau salah takut nak bersemuka. When we mentioned about the car's condition, guess what that man answered?

'macam mana kami terima, macam tu jelah keadaannya. Kalau nak servis lebih2, kenalah bayar kita lebih'

Hoih, good thing he said that to my husband, being good-natured that he is (walaupun aku nampak macam nak marah jugak) kalau dengan aku, memang dah kena sembur.

Of the 3 years we lent to that ***h**e, which we paid off the installments and renew road tax annually, the least he could do was to maintain as how we gave it to him in the first place. It isn't so hard to maintain a kancil, or expensive for that matter, especially when he sanggup turun kl to fetch the car.

And he had the bulls to stick a sign 'I love islam'. Bull of crap.

And it's no wonder that no mosque is yet to be seen. I am so going to Thailand and demand to see of what is called a mosque. Fishy, I tell you.

We had to service the car, the major parts only, just to get us to kl safely. Now, I'm officially broke (did a little shopping beforehand) and tanned. Kelantan is so hot, especially rantau panjang. Plus the 9 hour drive of no air-cond, except for the wind outside. ;)

Despite declaring broke for this month, that won't daunt me off from a Singapore trip in a few hours. It's all in the good name of SUP TULANG. Yum yum yum.

Second nature

It's funny when I'm away from the keyboard, ideas come rushing in but the moment I'm sitting and trying to start a sentence, I fail.

Everyone by now should know I have the worst memory ever. Sometimes, I scare myself too, because naturally, if the condition is bad as it is, imagine when I hit sixties. Is there a way to cure this? I heard that reciting quran is good for the memory, and try as hard not to sound poyo, I do attempt to keep toe of quran reading whenever possible.

Again, trying no t to sound poyo more than ever, I hit the gym yesterday after a week of lapse. And the last session I had lamb briyani. Really not effective I must say. I just found that the more I hit the treadmill the more appetite I develop. Is that normal? So yesterday, I had a really good work out because finally I got the hang of it. The first week was a real torture (nampak sangat pemalas exercise). Before this, I bercita-cita going to gym everyday but that's quite impossible especially when you have a husband in tow. So, I think I should at least make sure that I go twice a week.

Time is short. Lil bro's getting engaged this Saturday. Then I'm going off to Kelantan, hopefully by train because I want to feel the adrenaline of backpacking. Taking off on Monday and Thursday, regardless whether approved or not especially when my heart is totally in pieces all over the place. Everyone is waiting for a letter directing each's future, so being the end of the year, I wish them luck, because for sure I don't think I want that luck if I'm still stuck in this dump place any longer.

I know all along that…

… 6 days were not enough for me.

Itching badly to go back home, snuggle between pillows with a favourite book in hand. Nowadays, it's so hard to read, let alone a few pages. The concentration span is intolerable. I need my old life back.

I've been in the office for 2 days and as usual, I don't have anything better to do. Besides the normal stuff that a 10 year old kid can do. Who says you need a degree to do all of that? That piece of paper is just a ticket to secure a job and then what? You end up doing things retarding the brain. It's bad enough my brain cells are dying ever slowly, at this rate, I would shrink into nothing.

On a happier note, we had a bbq at huda's crib. It was quite awesome, small but close. I sure need the treatment to feel kind again towards the world. Fighting is tiring especially when you have no idea what you're against up to. I need to start be grateful once in a while.

Sometimes I wonder, what would really happen if I were to give up once and for all? Would there be any regrets? Remorse? Thankful? Bashing? I don't know unless I leap on that boat to take me away from all this. So much for my outgoing appearance (sometimes people mistook for bravery/courage) I am still coward at heart. Jumping into darkness is not going to be easy unless you are really mentally prepared for it. And knowing me, I'm a ninny.

Yes, laugh.

the dumbest makes you happy

lately, i've been ducking out from meet-up with friends. it's that time of breakdown (again!) where i will agree and back out at the very last minute. hormones is just not my bestfriend. nonetheless, i was grateful that i didnt cancel the penang trip because truthfully, i was really battered that day, after attending 2 weddings.

i think penang is the place that i wont easily get bored. besides the fact it is near to the sea, penang also offers a variety of delicious food. in a span of a day, i had the chance to chow down nasi kandar only. i have to wait for february next year to get a taste of rojak pasembor and char kuew teow. and other local delicacies too.

and it was where i screamed my lungs out on a banana boat ride. totally worth the rm10! came home with a hot fever waiting quietly that bursted out on monday. 3 days away from work was a bliss undescribable. especially when there's a last minute project going on. i couldnt be more thankful. glee!

since today im a little bit better, i decide to cook. i finally realise that cooking may not be my strongest forte (at the moment) but its what i enjoy doing most. the thought of giving someone to eat, especially who doesnt complain much, is elevating. i miss my 3month uk stint where i get to be my own charge. yes, it was tiring at times, but the satisfactory feeling paid it off.

like today. chicken tomyum. daging masak merah. telur dadar. perfect combination.

everything was from scratch, especially the tom yum.

hubster said it's similar to bazli's but even better.

the temptation of giving up my day job is just a few inches away.

come on, nana, get your kindie going and i'll apply as a cook.

Scandalized or scandalous? Choose.

Topic konon2 hangat di hot.fm, tapi bikin hangat di hati sebenarnya. Suggested penyelesaian for a hitch: a wife asks for help when the husband cheated on her and run away with that girl.

My advice? Get rid of your two-timing scumbag of a husband. Why should you need to suffer all the pain when he is enjoying himself with other women? I am not suggesting you to scandalize with another man, but to stand up and start afresh. Easier said than done, you say. Yes, but hear this out. Nothing comes pretty easy in life, don't you think? I mean, look at yourself, you just got cheated and is that any easier for you? No, I assume. Rather than moping around and feeling sorry for yourself, questioning what had gone wrong, better show your husband what you still have. Then he will know what he's going to miss in the long run.

What's infuriating is that, the callers were mostly women, being the scandalous lot a majority. I don't understand woman can do such an act to another woman. We should always stand up for ourselves, not try to ruin each other. Looking at where we are now, women are free to voice out freedom, to be at par with men if not higher, did you think we achieve all this by turning against each other? No, my dears, we support each other, fight for our rights. Who else will look out for us if not our own kind?

And another thing, the main reason for the scandalous act is because things at home are bad, wives not cooking, or men couldn't get their thang up, or children out of control or any ridiculous domestic excuses. You name it. Hey, those problems involve you too, so is that the only solution you can come up with by running away with another trash? I mean, why bother getting married in the first place if you can't handle problems? It's not like your wife is dead so no one to take care of you and the kids, or vice versa. You have each other. When you say the sacred vows, it means get through together, thick or thin. No stupid excuses. Sheesh.

Ada siap tuh, bangga main dengan laki orang and dia pulak yang meyerang bini2, complaining she has sacrificed her teenage years (6 years, mind you) with a married guy. What kind of world are we living in?

I'm getting annoyed now. In 2 days a row I have been a guru in a topic I'm not an expert. And it's tiring when you're really not one. Haha.

I wanted to post up a song by rossa, hey ladies (I think so). The lyrics are so perfect for you people who are being cheated shamelessly. But my office blocks all kinds of fun entertainment so terpaksalah korang youtube sendiri okay. Itu pun aku rasa korang dah pernah dengar/lihat lagu ni. Heh.

You won’t stop biting nails, so let’s breakup

It is sunny, the sky is clear blue after the rain washes everything away.

Yes, that's how life is. No matter how hard things get going, just remember that everything will be fine. If you feel like crying, just cry your whole heart out. Because everything will be clear again, just like the skies after raining.

Love is just so complicated. We all have been there, and some got lucky and most failed at the very first tryst. In my case, I have some feeble attempts, which I wouldn't call them true love anyway, but at least attempts of getting emotionally attached. Feeble as it may be, I don't regret at all what I have done. I admit that if I like that person, I would make the first move, regardless how stupid the act is. I would pass a candy, or biscuits or anything to a friend to pass it over to that particular person. And after a while, I get bored easily, especially if that person shows any promising signs. I must say that I get to know my preferences as I go along liking people here and there. Huahuahua. Yes, I am a fickle, remember?

Until I met my husband back in uni, on the registration day. Our parents know each other (we go to the same primary school) and talked, asking well-being of everything while I hid behind my mum's big hijab. Don't ask me why, I just don't know. Suddenly I felt shy meeting him. Who knew at that certain point I ended up marrying the guy... haha. Okay, enough of my love details, not that they are interesting anyway. The point is, to what certain extent do we have to sacrifice for our so-called 'love'?

When people break up, it's always the reason of that other person is not willing to change, or that other person has not done enough to make the relationship work, or another third party barges in, or basically you don't get along anymore. the latter is unavoidable, you just can't simply stop people not to cheat on you when he's the kind of unfaithful. But of course, you have to leave that sort of kind, lest it will hurt you in the future. What I'm highlighting here is the reason of breaking up just because that person won't change for him. Why should you put restrictions on people?

I am no love guru, mind you, but I believe that a person needs space in a relationship. If you love that person enough, let him grow in time, but of course towards the positive line. On top of all that, don't give 100% of yourself to people, no matter who they are. People will always let you down, even the bestest of friends, because we are humans after all. The only person you can rely on is the Almighty, so save a 10% of yourself. Or else that's when you hear stories people going crazy when their spouses died, or in some worse cases, cheated on them.

Another important element to make a relationship work is patience. You don't only have to be patient with the other half, you have to be patient with yourself. I am not ashamed to admit I have the lowest tolerance level of patience and at the rate I snap at people, I could hate myself to death. I have to console silently that it won't do any good of jumping to outrageous tempers. Girlfriend-boyfriend relationship is nothing; you can just simply part if nothing goes your way. When you are married, the test on self-patience is at times intolerable, to the point you question yourself, did you make a right choice? You have to be responsible for the choices you made and most importantly, rationalize everything before making harsh decisions that won't be worth regretted later. Learn to accept and you will be accepted.

Last but not least, never take 'twilight' as a guide for everlasting love, instead try 'gone with the wind'. That is what I call a real testament of love.

it's time, 2009?

i think i should write more often, only then a specific topic will surface later on. do you think so? since i am such a complicated and always confused being, it would be a surprise for me to come up with a post that is too, well, narrowed-down? heh.

2009 is nearing to an end. it's too cliche to say time flies but it does. haha. for all i know, we are already in the middle of december. i feel a bit left out, weird yeah, because i can't recall of any significant events that took place. so let me list out what has happened since january.

- my first time as a pengapit, at fiza's wedding (don't you dare laugh)
- jakarta trip in april (i thought that was last year)
- odah's wedding in may
- uk vacation from june til sept (now i know where most of the months have gone ;P)
- first time celebrated eid without the husband (corny!)
- 3 times to the gymnasium (that was last week, ngehehe)

not much eh? such a waste of a year, nevertheless, i have learnt a great deal, especially getting to know my true potentials, which i won't let on in here. however though, i plan to make the most for 2010 since i suddenly realise that i am not getting any younger. too many has to be accomplised and i am nowhere near to them. while i'm bitching over this, i haven't lay out specifically what i hope to materialise next year, which is so typical of me. haha. i'll do that in my sleep.

so, people, it's the last bit of the month. enjoy and make the best of it. it's not too late to do something big in the next 2 weeks. hahah. ambitious i must say.

no saga over this

last night, was the peak of boredom i've ever felt. i wanted to do something but couldnt figure anything interesting. and being the world's most annoying person, husband suggested mapley which i adamantly refused with the excuse of 'malas nak kelaur dari pagar. penat tau duduk terperap dalam pagar ni. boleh mematikan semua mood.' husband couldnt accept that of course. haha.

in relation to that, i took medical leave today, partly because of malas bekerja and another big part of blocked nose and sneezing fit. what with the h1n1 still going on, i need to take precautions, aint i? but that doesnt mean i will visit the doctor, just a loving session with odah today. if she can drag herself out of bed. ;p

few nights ago, one the guys staying next door came to us when we got back from a late movie. 'weh, korang checklah rumah. rumah kita orang baru kena rompak, habis semua laptop, camera. takde sign break-in plak tu.' alhamdulillah, our house was still intact but when i locked all the doors, i forgot a few verses of ayat kursi. i had to yell at husband from downstairs how the verses go. see what cuakness can do to me. what if i happen to see a ghost? stuttering like mad.

oh, did i tell you i went to see new moon? people couldnt believe it, they know it's not my thing. husband made me watch it. the whole movie was too tormenting for me to endure. i groaned and moaned throughout the whole thing while husband pinched and hushed me. i couldnt for the life think why bella is so pathetic, such an indecisive being. and cullen? i know he should be 'a man of few words' but really, he couldnt pull that one off, instead he looks like a stuttering parrot in pain. every word that comes out of his mouth causes him pain. as if he didnt mean any of his own sayings. the only part that made me endure all this was jacob, but even after that i was peeved with his fighting with cullen over pathetic bella. he could have done better than her. sorry, i am no romantic and i dont sit too well with mushy mashy bits of love.

last but not least, i quote from ahmad helmi's facebook status,

'edward cullen is almost 100 years old and bella is 17. so the twilight saga is thus-far the most successful pedophile/statutory rape franchise in movie history. well done world. no wonder vampires are so secretive :P (taken from Liana 'Shan' Aziz who took from Oli Pettigrew fan page ha ha ha)'

ok, have a nice monday. i will.