a crappy ramble

salary was in since last week and not surprisingly, i'm all dried up till next month, which is 3 weeks yet??! now is the time when you wish you had stocked up money while you had them and debating on what to use them for. all this while, my philosophy is spend when you can because you never know when you are going die. moreover, why need to leave your own hard-earned money to the people left behind? let them dig it themselves.

no, darlings, nothing to do with credit cards bills, just some things have come up that requires A LOT of money. so, no shopping sprees whatsoever. christmas sale is just around the corner and i'm already broke! sobs. and i was planning on shooting up to singapore next month. how depressing..

i had to work on the weekend so i took today off. office people called many times and as usual, i ignored them. i know it's their culture to take calls even on holidays, and i for one, will not play by that rule. i simply cannot allow some random strangers barge into my privacy at home while trying to enjoy a short break. one of these days, i might just get another number for personal use so that i can switch off the office number.

during the phase of silence with no updates, it's not like i haven't been writing. i have. they just ended up in draft mode. i couldn't bring myself to publish them. it's really hard for me to write knowing who the readers are. no, i'm not blaming you, readers, it's just the expectations that i have to live up to. then, there's the sesitivity issue i need to consider. no, that doesn't sound right. i write what i feel, or think and if some of you couldn't swallow it, hop to other places please. no grudges.

i write craps mostly, so if the readers frequent here for updates, then you must also like crap too. welcome welcome welcome! i must admit it's a long way yet for me to be sensible in dissing thoughts and such. but i'm planning to be there one day, so no worries. just need to find the right perspectives. like most loser writers use to say. :P

on a different note, the weekend was an eye-opener. there were things i learned and should have long time ago. now, i'm having second thoughts on quitting. yeah right, when i hit the office, i'll be screaming wanting to quit!! hahah. but seriously, i have to confess that i am the problematic one, nothing to do with the job itself. and if it couldn't get any more problematic than it is, i can't put a finger as to why or where. i am so effed up.

on top of it all, today was great. i did runs of videos. series of channels. hunk of junkfoods (but after reading hawa's post i want to puke). and cooked ayam merah madu for syarif. tomorrow will be a different story and i'm praying it'll be great as today.

7 months to our (dream) house. need to start planning from now. ideas anyone?