What I wouldn’t Do For Briyani Lamb and Nasi Kandar

Excuse the emotional entry below. It's hard to keep up the façade all this while.

On a different note, I've been hitting the gym in a month now. This means I go once every 3/4 days and that does not help much at all. I have to be more diligent and disciplined in my regiment, to at least shed off the stubborn fatty fat-fat. Since I am intolerable to pain, I know I have real work cut out for me. So, if I happen to skip gym, I will try not to eat after 7pm, while trying to eat healthily during the day. Agak2nya, berjaya ke cara ini?

On top of it all, the sole reason I'm going to the gym is so that I can eat whatever I want without letting it stay as fat in my body. Rather than eating my way out, then doing nothing, I see this as an alternative to eat as much without feeling guilty gobbling up sinful spread of food.

Hence the need to run for 5km and 20 minute sauna, to break even with briyani lamb and nasi kandar I had over the weekend. ;p

cold blood

disturbed. shouldn't be feeling this way. but i am and it makes me feel bad. because i shouldn't feel this way.

uneasiness. trying too hard. to blend in. to be one. standing out. stark naked. awkwardness.

irritated. seeing things not in the right place. right way. tired of picking up after things. dejected, finding locked doors. everytime i try to reach out, i stumble across closed doors. repressing true feelings.

it shouldn't be this way. really. it's not right. and i can't seem to do anything about it. really.

transition

in times when my creativity is much needed, i have failed. i miss writing crap. too much of serious issues makes me an old woman, quicker than i anticipated. sometimes i wonder, why make things simple so complicated? so that you can go around and tell people how busy you are with massive workloads, when it could've been easier. for you and for me.
thats the bad side of working in such a big organisation. you can't really satisfy anyone, and being me, i tend to take things personally.
nonetheless, i've been busy with reading, which makes me happier, what with all the ridiculous workload. and that explains why i have been away quite some time from internet.
upon some requests, i have entries yet to be published like ayah's birthday celeb but i need an entire lifetime to upload the photos. after this, i will not promise pictures anymore because i know i am not like that. ;p

ok, back to the serious world.