quacking chicken

reasons why i am still up at this ungodly hour:

• i have to get a proposal ready before tomorrow (who knows i'll be on mc then i don't want my boss to kill me even though i'm moving out next month)
• i had 3 hotdog+burger buns. ibu baked them and i packed them to the in-laws.
• sleeping at my in-laws. the usuals, hard to sleep at new places.
• i am nervous about the ct scan tomorrow. or should i say, in 5 hours time?

about the ct scan. its just a follow-up procedure of my chronic sinus. the doc gave me 2-week medication and i missed out on a week. now, im chickening out. i've always maintained 'self-healing'. ngahaha.

its not so much of the sinus. they will operate if the result shows the worse. but its the fear of knowing something else. like a brain tumor. or a cataract. i mean, something that you are not preparing for. yeah, i know its better to know beforehand but in my case? i think i'd rather die not knowing any mysterious diseases because, hell, i'd be miserable most of the time. at least, i'll die happy, no?

i'll shoot the proposal to the boss now. after that, im going to lie down and think about tomorrow. i wonder what will happen. hmm.