N.U.M.B

I'm in a state of confusion. And restless too.

There are so many things that I want in life. I am not trying to sound ungrateful here but it just is. You would be shocked to know whats going on in my mind right now. I know for sure some would say I'm insane or the least mildly put, ungrateful. And I will rot in hell for that.

These dark feelings I have kept them for so long and its eating me up. I'm getting angrier, metaphorically speaking, at everything. I do not like the way I am now and that makes me angrier.

Every smile doesnt mean that I'm happy. Every burst of laughter is just a way of stabbing my heart. What a path of lies I trudged along. Acting as if you are okay and fine is just tiring me out.

I know this is just a temporary phase that I'm going through. I know in time I will be free of all this. But I'm a bit scared by that time arrives, I will be left with no emotions, and lifeless.

For now, I will be numb. Numb to everything.

And hid my unsatisfaction and restless-ness underneath me.