i need to get this off my chest, only then i will go to sleep

i shouldn't be counting down the days but i couldn't help it. hence the impatience of waiting THE day. which is 7 days away.

you never know what can happen within that span of time. more money to be spent. mostly on trivial things and i go back wondering what have i bought to see such enormous bills? so, yeah, i'm officially broke for the time being. will take a few months to get back on my feet.

regardless the status of being broke, shopping is such a dull matter in england. the colors are so dead and unflattering. you will see seas of grey, black, brown and.. black again. because the weather is constantly cold, even in summers too, their fashion sense is too sombre. it's hard to find things in vibrant colors, as i am a fan of bright colors, which can be a turn-off at times. however, i must admit that some gray items are at really fabulous tones that can't be available in malaysia. even if they do, i can just imagine the ridiculous price tags that i won't consider of paying.

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in a blink of an eye, we are already on the 17th day of fasting. and to note, i didn't shed off any kgs at all but i didn't gain any, so that's a blessing. perhaps, fasting in malaysia is more effective due to hot climate rather than in cold. i couldn't remember the last time i sweat. very bad for health, the fat within the body must be all congealed and stubborn. :D

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for the past few days, i have been restless and a bit unease. many things are on mind that need to be taken care of. which can be done only once i get back. when things are a bit hard on yourself, only then you remember God (i know, bad of me!). but then, who would you turn to if not Him? at least, i'm glad that He's always there whenever i need Him. it's just that i need to remind myself that i have to talk to Him even when i'm happy, because after all, He makes it happen, right?

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please don't force me to make raya cookies, will you? reasons are, first, it's the first time i will be eid-ing without my other half. second, it's the first time we won't be together for eid. third, it's the first time we are apart for such a big occasion. fourth.. you get the picture okay? it's bad enough we didn't get to sahur, break fast and do tarawikh together, the three main events of fasting month. so don't make things any harder than it already is.

thank you.

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i still haven't got anything for ibu and ayah. it's hard to buy things for people that you think they already have everything. yes, i know it's the thought that counts. but then, how do i give things when my thoughts aren't attached to it? when i buy something for someone, i'd like to think that some one will be pleased with the gift. i just can't buy something for the sake of giving, it'd beat the purpose of giving then. after all, they are my parents and deserve the best. only thing is, what??