garlic chicken pizza's taking heat in the oven..

.. while here i am, blogging away.

yeah, i know it's been ages since i last update my blog and i kind of missing it too. and it's not due to the fact of blogger's block, per se, but rather the fact that i don't have any particular interests that i want to blog about. since i'm in the mood of crapping away, so here i am.

i never thought of saying this, i think i am almost glad to get back to work in september. from what i gather from the emails i received, my office is going through another transition, which the previous transition has not even set in, and i can't wait to see any new changes. if there are any, knowing that place can go through as many transitions as possible but it will never change, for better. or worse.

i almost can see myself coming into office on the first day after 3 months absence, nervous to see my boss. and a new vice president. thank god that he doesn't come there often hence of higher chances of not meeting the old man. or perhaps i am more likely to be nervous of the work piling on my desk in the span of 3 months. ahhh the sheer torture of all this! hating work but can't stop work, you just can't have it both ways.

another question i will be dreading to face is when people ask whether i am pregnant or not. the worst time would be during raya, of course, when everyone will get together and update each other with tidbits of news. get this, people, i will scream out to the world if i AM pregnant. sheesh.

in response to negative answer to above, they would say, oh it's okay you just have to work harder. what the hell is that? having children of your own is a blessing, i wouldn't dream of pushing it away. but if i have to change the nature of course by forcing to have sex and not derive pleasure from it but instead feeling of doing work/homework, then maybe it's better off i don't have kids at all. i want to have kids from love-making, not some hard-work sex. children have to be made of love so that they can make the world a better place to live in.

stop telling me to work harder at sex.

i just popped another pizza in the oven, cheezy tuna this time. garlic chicken tastes okay but the dough is a bit crunchy though, not like domino's. how do i do dough like theirs? oh well, i'll call them biscuit pizza. haha.

we are invited to a friend's house tonight, her friend's more likely, for a yassin reading and to honor the upcoming ramadhan. i'm a bit reluctant to go since it's not my friend's hosting but i have to due reasons that can't be listed here. so, i'll update later on that, if i'm not in a ficklish mood.

i need to take the kids outside. i just taught them the pleasure of lying on the grass while staring off in the sky. seems like they are addicted to the activity, which i secretly think it's just an excuse for them to go out. but it's good for them to be out in the fresh air than being cooped in the house like chickens. we can chew away on the pizzas, read books and fool around. ah the simple pleasure in life!

enough of crapping for today.

lunch dates, anyone?

haha.

i don't know why i'm laughing, but i feel exhilarated. flight has been booked, will go back on 16th sept. can't wait of course despite all the rushed shopping sprees.

ramadhan is nearing, starting this saturday. if all goes according to plan, we will go to sheffield this friday and crash noraini's crib. should be fun considering that i won't be cooking on my first day of fasting. hehe. i'm hoping for crazy damaging shopping too. whoa!

went to town yesterday at 2pm. too bad the shops closed quite early (that's uk for you, wouldn't trade malaysia malls for anything) as i came home empty handed. i tried a pair of jeans at debenhams and liked it but i decided to walk around first and come back later if nothing could beat that piece. as usual i got carried away with time and little did i know, it was already 445pm and the shops were starting to close, customers being turned away. now, i can't stop thinking about that jeans. it is perfectly faded, just the pair i've been searching for since i lost mine at one of the hotels i stayed. i hope it's still there when i go next week.

planning to bake chocolate banana cake tomorrow, found a recipe at nigella's website. it looks simple enough so let's see how that turns out. ever since that disastrous apple crumble pie, i sworn not to bake any more but my hands are itching to try new recipes. there's something about mixing together ingredients, getting the measurements right, getting to know unfamiliar substances and most importantly, the satisfaction of seeing the mixture as a whole. then you hope against all hopes that your creation would not flop. if it didn't, you'd hit the roof in delirious state, but if it did, you'd swear never to touch the beaters again. but then, you know it wouldn't be the case.

i wish i can have another whole month away from work, being lazy in the realm of home is so much irresistible. huh, nightmares nightmares!!

run, care bears, run!

Squatting and groaning in front of the television, my 3 year old niece did business number two while watching one of her many favourite cartoon programmes, the care bears. When telling her to change diapers, she pleaded to wait until the programme finishes. i said okay but don't run around in case she suddenly sit down and get all her business squashed. gross, i know.

time passed (i was waiting for the commercials to come on air) when she said, kalau toilet kat depan tu (finger pointed towards tv) kan senang cik arah nak cebok uha.

ha bagus, biar semua care bears lari bau taik ha yang busuk banga.

she giggled.

hurmm, the things kids come up with nowadays. sabar jelah aku.

it's the 'bore' day

i never knew such boredom in my life.

in my coughing phase so whenever i cough, the pain shoots straight up to my head. last night, i cried myself to sleep. no wonder all my body aches right now.

went to nottingham malaysia committee (NMC) gathering and i must say this, it is quite the bleakest event i have ever been to. i was trying not to yawn all the time (which i barely pass) and look bored. i didn't meet anyone interesting except for a makcik who came visit her daughter. she was ready enough to entertain me so i let her be. the food was okay and i finally got to eat fish. i loaded up a whole big plate of fish soup and fried fish. gila tamak haloba. tapi puas babe.

i planned on going to town today but the SIL wanted to go to a friend's house. not that i have anything to do with her friend but seeing that i'm the driver most of the time, well i have to oblige her request. but everything cancelled, the children were sleeping and it was too late to go to town. ramadhan is just around the corner so i must make a trip at least once. maybe next week. heheh.

i realize that we are into august already and will be going back next month. i thought time would never come and now i can't wait to go back. at least i have something nice to look forward to. though what's stopping me to feel all nice is the thought of going back to work. i have googled up and found a term for my distress, ergophobia. someone who has a phobia of going to work, afraid of making mistakes, afraid of people criticising of her work etc. all the symptoms there are the same as mine. mostly. whooo. so i have to live with the fact that work is never for me. i can't do things that require a lot of expectations from me, waiting for me to screw up and get kicked out.

caffeine high

lately, i've been taking too much caffeine. dah lama dah tak minum kopi sebab taknak terlalu depend on it. i have to take coffee at 8pm everyday cos i want to stay awake and chat with syarif. uk is 4 hours ahead of brazil so usually at 12 i'll be yawning my head off.

masalahnya, sekarang ni syarif sangat berdisiplin orangnya sejak bini dia takda. sebelum ni, pukul 12 malam pun aktif lagi. usah di pagi hari, 12 tengahari baru bangun. jadi, boleh bayangkan kejengkelan aku melihat dia tidur pukul 10 mlm tiap-tiap hari. dan bangun 1 jam sebelum subuh, siap2 dan pergi kerja. nanti aku balik, nak tengok sampai keja on time tak ke pukul 10 lagi. haha. nampak sangat aku ni bad influence.

selalu kami chat sekejap je, around 3 hour. waktu dia pukul 10, waktu aku pukul 2 pagi. waktu-waktu untuk berpisah sementara. dia boleh lah tidur. aku ni, terkebil2 depan pc lagi. nak tidur tak boleh. esok minum lagi kopi. because i don't have to go to work, i can make allow compromise on my side.

siang tadi pergi wollaton park. sebab dah janji, tak kira hujan atau tidak, kena redah jugak. memang hujan pun tapi tak kisah, bila lagi nak berperasaan dalam hujan, ya tidak? park kereta di paling bawah sekali, betul-betul depan taman permainan. main-main sekejap, bosan, we walked up to wollaton hall. we had to hike a sloppy hill with deer dung all over. nak bagi semangat punya pasal, bought them ice-cream (ridiculous, i know, it's raining!). so it was fun jumping and squealing avoiding the dung while sucking on ice. sampai kat puncak, we went through some old buildings and took pictures from my phone. sedih betul, bila semangat nak bergambar, camera rosak. bila ada, malas nak keluarkan camera. tulah dia, you never know what you miss until it's gone.

and then, the hightlight of the visit was the secret garden. it looks old, gloomy and creepy from the outside but when we went in, it was breathtakingly beautiful with colourful flowers in bloom. so, we had our little picnic, more of a snack actually, on a bench facing a lake. cantik. the kids were chasing a squirrel while feeding it with their crisps. the squirrel was quite tame and looked cute holding a potato chip in its little paws. then, i treated them a few souvenirs, bouncy balls with embedded butterflies.

definitely need to come back again because i didn't get to see the museum and the hall. another rainy day perhaps, perfect for staying inside old gloomy places. heheh. now, i must try to sleep. ni mesti stock bangun pukul 1 ptg. if caffein can make me awake, it can also knock me out dead once i get to sleep. heh.

p/s: i nak upload gambar kat handphone, tak boleh juga. baru perasan all the pictures are missing. i pernah dengar electronic devices from malaysia mesti weng bila di negara lain sebab sejuk. janganlah pulak laptop aku lepas ni. betul ke?

marblethorpe beach

the beach was fantastic. it was a 2 hour drive, in the heart of lincolnshire called marblethorpe. we did get lost a bit, thanks to tomtom for the confusion, but managed to get there after a few calls of help.

the beach is nothing like in malaysia. you won't see the sea until you walk right up to it. we walked from the car park which took 5 minutes and even that you still cannot see the water. when we reached the gate to the sand, suddenly the sea is right in front of us. we found a perfect spot to have a picnic and the kids to play.

the weather's fine, a bit chilly perhaps even though the sun is shining through. the grown ups ate while chatting away and the kids played with sand. i had a short nap before i went off to take a walk. surprisingly, not many were bathing. i thought the water was cold so i tested it. but no, it was just nice so i walked right to the other end of the beach. gila jauh. but it was nice, having the time to myself while picking up some sea shells for the niece, though i wished syarif was there with me. when i got back after the walk, everyone teased aku melayan jiwa suami jauh. memanglah takkan tak paham lagi kot.

huh.

sorry, no pictures my camera made a nuisance of itself, the lens won't close. haih, kenalah beli yang baru. oh yeah, the apple crumble was a total disaster! i dont know what went wrong, the apples were tough! what a waste.

running wild

we are off to the beach tomorrow. i asked SIL where exactly it is but she forgot the name. it's 2 hour drive and i haven't had a wink of sleep yet.

i made tuna croissant, just like dunkin donut's, and apple crumble pie. i was being adventurous, as usual, instead of using butter to make the crumbs, i used cream cheese. apparently, the crumbs are slightly coarse cos the cheese is a bit sticky business. when baked, it looks okay but the taste has yet to be criticised. i even made sweet cream sauce to go with it. yummy!

there's been conflict raging inside me now. i'm easily upset nowadays. let's hope that tomorrow promises some fun craziness with good food and perfect weather. cos that's all i need now.