heloo, i hope you still remember me!

So, the previous post was about my foot, yeah.. Until recently, i have been on painkillers.. To be honest, husband wasnt too thrilled seeing me swallow the white pills everytime the foot starts acting up. I wasnt too, either, since i proclaimed myself a self healer. But because im such a wussy when it comes to pain of all sorts, i just had to succumb to this cowardice.

Husband urged me to see a tukang urut for ages. You see, i sprained my ankle in high school while doing long jump. Landed quite badly i must say, and the foot swelled up nicely. A friend tried to urut but it was so painful i nearly kicked her! I resorted to painkillers (whats wrong with me!) and bandaged it up praying hard it will look normal again. Of course it did, but look what i have to endure now...

I cant be on my feet all day without feeling it sore at night. Had special guests from singapore coming over for dinner. My foot were starting to act up so i decide to dish up simple menu, without putting too much pain. By the time cooking was done, i just can barely walk! But i can put such an act that people dont notice easily. Haha. Cleaned the house and everything. Come morning, im in pain! And it didnt help when husband urged me to go along with him to all 5 openhouses! The last house we went to, i had to struggle my painful foot into the shoe without crying out loud!

So i ajak husband to the clinic for more of those fun pills. I hate doctors, to be honest, im just scared of them. Any mentions of needles, drilling or whatsoever related to doctor, j can just freak out. But for the pills, i sanggup! Husband was adamant, no more pills for you! We go see tukang urut and get that foot of yours right, once and for all! I tried to convince him berurut while on painkillers. At least i wont feel any pain. Haha! He wont hear of it...

Off to the tukang urut and man! I bet all her neighbours are used to hear screams from her house! Husband said i sound so crazy because i was laughing off my head. I said i had to, i cant be crying in front of that makcik, hilang my dignity. Even though im a wussy kan! I was making too much noise. Belum sentuh pun dah terjerit and tertiba teringat my childhood, i always start yowling before my dad hit me. Its a psychological reaction, it lessens the pain. Haha. He rubs it in my face ever since then.

Its been two days since the urut. The day after being urut, i felt extreme pain. I couldnt walk at all. I was cursing the makcik, making me feel even worse. I was tempted to go to clinic for my pills. Good thing it was a weekend, got the husband to wait on me, hands and feet. Muahaha. And today i woke up feeling abit better. The pain is almost going away. But i still walk like a robot though partly because i was afraid of hurting it again, and partly the foot has gone all stiff. And yeah, perhaps i will go to that makcik urut again for the whole body massage!

P/s lets just hope this is gonna be the last entry on my foot. Its quite embarassing already, as if thats the only exciting thing happen in my life. I sure as heaven will try to spice up this blog soon. Its been too long i know! :-)

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Harus sembuh cepat, esok mahu berjimba

Yeah, i know.. This is not the best time to be here after more than a month of silence. But i need this to take my mind off the pain.

Yesterday was my usual house chores day (dusting and vacuuming), except i put an extra notch, i mopped the entire house. That means 4 rooms, living area, dining area, tv area and 3 bathrooms!

By the end of it all, i was totally flat out and decided to iftar outside. ;)

Wait, thats not all yet.

Throughout the night i kept moaning and whining how tired my poor feet were. I vowed never to mop the house again! Usually that is syarif's expertise. I massaged my feet so gently before to sleep.

So this morning, i was rudely awakened by an excruciatingly painful left foot, right at the big thumb area. I could barely walk! And alone too..

Called odah to find the nearest tukang urut. Thank God it's right next to my housing area. Then called maisa for to send there. She has an appointment with a spa and couldnt possibly cancel, just for me. -__-

Was a bit hurt but decided to go by myself. Even wearing shoes hurt, it puts pressure on the foot. I was checking back my tears, feeling so sorry for my foot..

Got to the place in one piece, alhamdulillah, and hobbled in pain to cross the street. The funny part was i acted as if nothing happen tapi bila masuk je klinik terus nak pengsan!

It is a homeopathy clinic, darus syifa'... Registered and waited for the tukang urut. He checked and said,

"Bagi dia lintah seekor. Satu je kang satu seksyen 15 dengar dia menjerit."

I freaked out lah! Pacat and lintah tak boleh buat main2 boleh mati kegelian kot.

"Eh urut je tak boleh ke? Saya tak boleh lintah ni, geli!! Lagipun saya takut darah..."

"Kena buang dulu darah kotor, baru boleh urut. Nanti bengkak lain plak."

Yang peliknya, i just went along what the ustaz suggested. I malu lah nak buat scene sebab takut benda kecik.

Half an hour passed, lintah tu tak nak gigit lagi!! Rasa nak muntah feeling the sliminess kat kaki. Good thing memang kat kaki, so i can't see the lintah. Cuba kalau kat tangan, macam mana??!

Had to puncture the skin first, get the blood out then the lintah latched on. Didn't feel its bite but again the slimy body is enough to make me gag!

Doesnt help that the lady attending to me dozed during the treatment. When she started, she pulled the lintah just to see whether still latching on ke tak o__O

Nearly an hour passed. The lady informed paling cepat sejam. I was counting by the minute. I was bearing the pain and geli at the same time. I cried the whole time.. Walaupun bertwitter dengan geng

To the point i couldnt bear any longer, i was going to tell her to stop the treatment, it was over. Then the massage began. I cant describe how hurt it was. I was crying even harder.

When everything was over, i paid and went home. Not surprisingly, lagi sakit adalah. Throughout the time kat treatment tadi, i was wondering why i didnt go to see a real doctor. I shouldnt have gone to urut first. At least kena scan la dulu kan, who knows it could be muscle tear ke.

Sakit gila. Nak solat pun azab. I cried to sleep just so i dont feel the pain. Itupun restless sleep. Nak pegi clinic betul macam malas dah. Sebab nak jalan pn seksa. Not like anyone would want to dukung kan.

Thought of putting a photo of the lintah treatment. But nak tangkap gambar pun grosses me out. Google image lagi nenakutkan, google lah sendiri at your own risk.




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if only i could fly freely

decided to sleep at the parents' last night. hubby has been away since tuesday and i've been keeping my own company so  why not i show up unannounced? as if they would be surprised.. pfft

too many events piled up this coming saturday, which is tomorrow. have to choose wisely, i can't cut up my body just to be in all the places at once. i would have gone to a trip to jb if i hadn't need to be on standy to fetch hubby at the airport. sheesh..

lately, i have been quite a recluse, finding that my home is such a blessing. i tire easily of useless conversations, especially with strangers. it drains up my inner energy just to muster some effort in humanly contact.it's a disease, i know, not wanting to meet people.. more than once i have cancelled meet ups and such just because i didn't feel up to it.. but there are good days when i just can't get enough of them.

was rudely awakened by two birds flying around the room. they were trying to find escape. i squealed and hid under the blanket. i was helpless, i wanted to help but at the same time i was.. abit squeasy.. one bird were struck down by the fan and i nearly cried. i just run out of the room, praying hard that the surviving one will find its way out.. yeah, i managed to open all the windows first.

the point is? i don't want to end up like the bird, seeing its partner lifeless and no where to go. i'm so depressed..

difficult babies

i'm feeling a bit sad tonight...

i knew this would come eventually but i won't let it spoil today spent with syarif. it was great fun, we rarely get to go out on dates now, he's so busy with work and all, so we made the best of what time we have. watched transformers (at last! tickets were selling fast!) at the cineplex damansara and had the whole suite to ourselves! of course, we can only do this on special occasions or else it will take out the whole meaning of celebration right? ended the night with dinner at my favourite mamak, fareez maju. ;)

few days back marked our 4th year of marriage. i feel like it was only yesterday we got married. i was in pekanbaru at the time, hence the special date today, i nearly cried when syarif texted saying, we have a whole life to make babies, when the right time comes. i asks him, why is it so hard for us and so easy for others?

we once discussed about adoption and both mutually agree that it's not an option as of now. we are still young and we just need to work harder than everyone else. perhaps, this is my part of Allah's testing patience. a neighbour of mine, she got married last year at age 30 and just delivered a baby. it just shows that marrying at a very young age doesn't mean you can easily get babies. at least, that's what she said to me.


someone in the family just had a baby girl, and so cute with chubby cheeks! i could hardly resist not to pinch the cheeks, if she was mine i would have done so. ;p and hopefully (it's still early!), lil sister is pregnant #2, another addidtion to the crowd. and even though i am happy for them, i just couldn't help feeling a little bit.. off.. as if i'm cutting myself away from all this. there are days when i just feel like leaving everything and crawl into a hole where no one can find me and look at me wondering, why she is still childless.

i am so paranoid now. i know strangers would ask random questions whether i have children and of course it's not their fault they don't know or they wouldn't ask, would they? but even that, i find it very offensive, as if giving a good hard slap is the right answer. i just think there must be other questions that are not too personal eh?

but reading wani ardy soothes me down. i love her writing, her words touch me in many ways. i am humbled by the fact there many women out there who are just like me, going through rough patches. it's just a matter of time before we find a greener side of grass. naturally, the grass patch will thin out to another rough spot and we need to work the patch so the grass will grow back. it's life, it's a cycle, it's inevitable.

oh well, here i am, 4 years old being married and still act like an immature child. no wonder i can't produce one yet. ;p it's okay, people will see me smile graciously when these million dollar questions pop out.. but don't be surprise if you hear teeth gritting with annoyance. it means you need to get far away as possible. ;p 

that reminds me, i still need to visit yatoque and her baby boy!

i'm still alive..

.. but kicking with one leg.

when i first started out this blog, it's just to make my daily job bearable. so now, since i've been practically jobless starting last february, i was abit astrayed. it's not my nature to let known my true emotions in public, but let me just say this, what's done is done. i couldn't be more happier than before.

last night, we went to alamanda, to sign up for digi broadband. syarif couldn't bear to think i am alone doing nothing at home. i've refused many times, mind you, with excuses i ahve my books to keep me company. i think he's just signing up for himself, perhaps i don't entertain him enough, what with being married for nearly 4 years. lol. but anyways, here i am, blogging again after more than 2 months of silence.

AND i happen to bump into someone that i would not rather meet in another lifetime. i think i can just leave the gossipmongers behind. wouldn't miss them a bit at all. good riddance to them!

had the kids at my house over the weekend. they were so excited to see STAIRS. i forgive them, since they live in a condo for most of their little lives. haha.

the first thing they ask, 'mana toys aunty sheya?' '-_-"

i woke up to their whisperings. the brother suggests to go downstairs and explore. the little sister agrees. they quietly open the door AND close it. wow. i let them be for nearly 30 minutes, knowing that they can't do nothing much as my house is practically empty. when i came down, the kids were lying on the sofa, i think gossipping about school, teachers and friends. ahaha. how cute is that?

my parents will be coming back this friday. i can't wait to see what they will bring this time. hehe. and then, we have a quite huge food-laden gathering this sunday, to celebrate granma's birthday.. and that night, will be off to bangkok for a few days. i'm so excited about the trip, it's been ages since i get to go travel. ;p

alright, this is just a warm up after so long a silence. let's hope that i will continue to write more. i have so many things crammed up in my head, but the minute i try to write, everything freezes. they just don't look right when you put your thoughts in words. we'll see what we have for tomorrow, yeah?

who says homemaking is easy?

yeap, definitely out of their minds...

cleaning, arranging home and such like have never been my forte. well, i do imagine most times that i can do them anytime easily. but tell me, i wast prepared such hard work just to put away my crocks, pans, dinner sets, spices, belacan, basically everything!!

i vow to get those tupperwares for storage one day!

however, i just need to gloat about this, the only thing i did today that im proud of is cleaning out the fridge. the horror of it, i tell you! all those frozen food throughout these years! my aunt intan would have a fit. dont worry, i wouldnt even try to cook them let alone eat them! it's just that throwing things away takes up so much of my precious time and i can think better ways to have fun than do house chores. ;p

im crazy in a way that nobody gets to mess up my fridge arrangement, not even syarif! only i can create the mess or rearrange things. so imagine the torture i felt throughout the year of seeing my arrangement getting all strewn over. and i never knew i have this obsession until i move in with syarif's parents. because i never cared any mess or disorder around me, i'm just that klutz! but anyhow, i take it as a learning curve, putting boundless limitation to my patience. and it's quite hard when syarif always teases me about it. ;D

and oh, did i tell you that im blogging from my new house? can't really call it a home yet, doesnt have that ambiance a home should have. the living area is full of boxes and plastics, bits of paper, dust (carried with the boxes) and all sorts of rubbish. and another problem i found, i cant decide what to throw out and what to keep. i mean, what if i need it in the near future, right?

so, everytime i cleared a few boxes, a new mess is created. to the point i feel useless of clearing things up because i can never get them done!! such exaggeration, i know! and because i havent installed any cabinets or storage places, its hard for me to stash all my things. dont let me start with my uk visit last 2 years. (that long????) who knew i could accumulate 15 boxes in just 3 months? being that nearly half of them are my books. and there are still boxes at my inlaws. hahah.

all this hype is good, i guess, because then i wont have time to be miserable. im letting things go in accordance. its better this way, i hope. dont ask when's the housewarming. just come over anytime, because i just found the best mamak ever in my neighborhood! ;p

Short update

I ve been pretty much occupied these past few days. Our house is coming along nicely. I had just washed and mopped the living hall and kitchen. As im typing this, syarif is on fours making the kitchen toilet all nice and ready.

The kitchen countertop is done even though the tiles werent the ones we chose. But since the contractor is such a nice guy and would gladly have them replaced, we were pressed for time before the housewarming do next week. So the price was compensated, the workmanship is quite good for a malay contractor and bottompart is no holes have burn our pockets, yet.

We plan to move our things day by day, starting tomorrow. At least it wont tire us out, a week to get this packed, heaved, unpacked and placed. So maby things to do so i guess i wont have time to feel or think about some matters that can make cry and pull out my hair.

P/s:why is it the moment i want to post pictures something will always stop me doing so. Its either im too lazy to look for the cable, or the pics are with someone else. Now its because i cant figure out posting pics from a phone!!!